Professions
by JunkieFiction
Summary: The high school where the gym teacher overworks you, the english teacher is a heartthrob, the woodworks teacher is a sadistic maniac, the food tech teacher is ramen obssessed, the music teacher has multiple personality disorder, and more. Its all just fun
1. The slave driving gym teacher

Disclaimer: I dont own Naruto.

Random idea me and my friend came up with.

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**Chapter one; The slave driving gym teacher.**

"Ten laps around the school playground, go, go, go!" Shouted Lee whilst waving his hands about and jogging on the spot.

The children starred at him, they were completely breathless and exhausted. Most of them were sweating madly whilst some had collapsed to the floor.

"Lee-san, can… we … take… a break?" a boy barely managed to let out.

Lee turned to the little boy, and glared at him intensely.

"No way! We do not have time for a break! We have simply begun my young ones! We must all do ten laps around the school playground… if we can't do ten we will do thirty! If we cant do thirty, then fifty! If fifty fails we'll go for 150! That's what our spring time youth is all about! Now go, go, go! Before I fail you all…."

The children were looking at him in horror; even the ones that had collapsed to the floor had gotten up.

"Lee-san can we stick to ten?" One of the girls questioned.

Lee nodded in approval.

"And if we can't do ten, we'll…"

"Argghhh!" the children all began to run madly around the playground.

Lee grinned cheerily. _Such enthusiasm! _He thought.

"Now run whilst doing five star jumps! One! Two! Three! No, Hatsu, that's a bad example! Okay everyone stop!"

The children began to shiver. They all shared the same thought; _what is he going to make us do now…_

"You do not dodge the tree! You jump over it! You must all face obstacles in your way not run away from them! That is the way of the hard working ninja! Okay children since we could not do ten properly we'll go for thirty, and remember! You face the obstacle, you do not dodge it! Now goooo!" He shouted hyperactively, punching the air as he spoke.

"Lee-san, we're not training to become ninja! This is just gym class… can we please sit down for just a second, my body aches all over and I have…"

"Come now, it's only been 110 minutes, 73 seconds . We do not have time for breaks; you must all get the most out of this lesson! Now let's do this! The longer the wait the more the laps!"

And with that, the children all began to run. Although, they were so tired they were just lazily walking around the playground… until they saw their teacher running towards them. They all began to speed up, forcing the last inch of energy they had left; some tripped over their own feet whereas others got tangled on the roots of trees. Lee was shouting out random instructions and words of inspiration.

"Fifty laps for you 5 for failing thirty!! and if you can't do fifty you'll do 150! Quickly now! You must reach you tar…. get" Lee's face turned a tomato red at the sight of…

"Hey…. it's… Sakura… san…. we're… saved…." One of the girls wheezed.

"S-Sakura – Chan. She looks so lovely today…" Lee said to himself, with a dreamy look on his face.

Sakura run a hand through her long, pink hair, whilst holding a bunch of folders with the other. She shook her head to allow her hair to flow freely with the wind, the sunlight making it glisten (think slow motion, think sunset beach style). Lee began to drool at the sight of her and temporarily forgot about his class, who were _happily_ lying in the sun and grasping this gift of free time that they had been blessed with, with both hands. They were trying to catch their breaths, and rubbed every part of their body that ached… which was pretty much _every single_ part of their body.

_She's so beautiful…_

Lee continued to drool until Sakura was out of his sight. He then shook his flushed expression off and turned to the children wearing his "nice guy" pose.

The children screamed and began to run…

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Let me know whether I should continue or not, criticisms welcome, so long as they're constructive :). 

I have a plan for most of the Naruto characters. Try and guess who's gonna teach what. Haah.


	2. Food tech aka ramen class

This one's long. I think I'm going to redo this chapter though, I don't know why. Let's see.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or ramen, or the tree.

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"OOOWWWW!"

A shriek was heard from outside of the window. All the students in the class rushed to see what it was…

"Hey, isn't that Lee-san?" a student stated.

"Ehem." A blonde male with ocean blue eyes coughed, rather loudly, to get his students' attention.

They all turned to face him and began to move to their seats.

"Gomen, Naruto-san."

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Eh? No, that's not it, you can keep watching for all I care… it's kinda amusing." He was leaning over the window and mocked Lee (who had bashed his face on the tree he was making his students jump over, incase you were wondering).

"Anyway, it's Bushy Brows! Its one of the first things I taught you!" He 'corrected' his students.

Everyone sweat dropped.

"Sir, when is this lesson going to _actually_ start?" A boy with glasses asked.

"Oh yeah! Today we are doing something VERY exciting. I just know you guys are going to love it, we're gonna have so much fun!" He grinned.

"…….." The students just starred at him, they didn't look too convinced.

"Naruto-san, are we…. Making ramen…. Again?"

Naruto's eyes widened (like a puppy dog) and they began to fill with tears.

"-Sob- even the name is enough to let out the water works… it's like music to my ears." He said, dreamily.

The students all sweat dropped and sighed...

"But we've made ramen countless times already and we've only had school for a week! This class just seems so pointless, we're ramen specialists now!"

Naruto's eyes now looked like they'd caught fire.

"Oh yeah?! Well, Mr. _Specialist_ make us a good ramen bowl… no, even a _decent_ ramen bowl and show me whether you can back those words up or not! You see, kids, ramen is a delicate thing and it absolutely needs to be handled with care. The best ramen is the one made with love, and respect and care from the chef! The one's where you spend countless hours, deciding the dressing… making it match… creating beautiful melodies with the cooker and… stuff! You don't just simply 'make' ramen; you 'create' it, like a form of art! Every single bowl has its own uniqueness, but it's always beautiful no mater what. It's like a woman really - they taste better when you care for them!"

The students sweat dropped again.

"I think you're insane. If he made the ramen you'd just end up eating it all as mean of 'examining'. And that was way too graphical...It's just food." The girl, sounded rather frustrated.

A mirror shattered.

"J-just…. F-food?"

There was silence for a while where the students awaited nervously. Some of them began to whisper.

"You idiot, you know how he feels about ramen…" "Ohh man detention for life… or worse! We're gonna become ramen slaves!"

Naruto finally snapped out of it and began to smile.

The students were unnerved.

Naruto began to walk around the classroom.

"You see, this… is why I am here. Today's youngsters need to be educated on these things, Heh Heh… what a strange mistake to make, heheh ramen just food." Naruto was grinning.

"Now, let me see your homework, and I'll give you the instructions for today's lesson."

The students sighed with relief. They were let of easily for such an "offense". Or so they thought…

"Oh, and by the way. Anyone who dares make anymore weird mistakes, and doesn't cook ramen properly today, will be sent of to the lesson downstairs…. With the woodworks class!" his voice sounded demonic at the very last sentence.

The children all gasped and their hearts almost stopped.

"T-the woodworks… class..?"

"Guys, I've heard stories about that class… and they're not pretty."

"Is that so? Well I've changed my mind" Naruto had a poker face on, which completely confused the students. It then gradually changed to an evil, sinister grin.

"Uh-oh… Naruto-san, what are you thinking?" one of the students said.

"Detention. That, will be the punishment."

Everyone gasped, and the boys began shiver and almost cry.

"Mwahaha I can be so evil sometimes." Naruto snickered to himself. He then straightened up and _tried_ to look professional. "I take it you all know who your detention teachers are then? Now…"

"That's not fair!" a boy cried out. "_Our_ detentions are SO much worse than what the girls get… I mean we get them with Orochimaru-san!!"

The boys shivered at the sound of his name.

Naruto snickered some more.

_Granny Tsunade sure has a good sense of humor… not to mention how evvviiiill she could be to the students. Heheheh… not that I'd ever send my students with that freak, I don't want to get sued by their parents. But, it is fun to watch them suffer and make good ramen! _

"Trust me kids, you'll thank me for this one day. Now cheer up! Don't take things so at heart, I mean I forgave you for calling ramen 'just food', didn't I?"

The children began to mumble.

"I don't see how pranks, and making ramen every second of the hour is going to make us thank him… we're all going to end up as ramen chefs at ramen stands." One of the students said to his peer whilst taking out all the equipment.

(They'd learnt it all by heart, it didn't take much brainpower)

"_Good_ ramen chefs at that." Naruto had over heard their conversation and was now grinning.

The boy and the girl death glared him.

Naruto scratched the top of his head.

"There are far worse teachers in the school than me you know. I mean take Gaara-kun, I'm sure you have lessons with him." he said matter of factly.

"I have lessons with Gaara-san, and he may be strict…. Like, lethal strict… actually his classroom is like a death zone… But anyway, we get so much work done with him! And really good grades!" A girl said as she was preparing the ramen.

"Don't question my teaching methods. You know the consequences. And besides, all the other teachers don't care about their students! I do, so long as you make good ramen, but I do." Naruto grinned.

The students mumbled.

Naruto sighed.

"Y'know, when I was a student, I was grateful to both my Sensei's because they taught me a lot, even though I didn't like their teaching methods sometimes." He continued.

"Did they make you make some food they liked, all day?" A student said sarcastically.

"Umm… No. but still."

The students were rather surprised. Naruto was being smarter than usual which did call for some cause for concern.

"Naruto-San, who was your Sensei?" The students were now interested.

"I had Iruka-sensei to begin with…"

The students we interested still.

"But then it was Kakashi-Sensei!" he grinned.

The students all fell over (anime style).

"Kakashi-san?! He must been a huge inspiration to you Naruto-san…" The students said.

"Oh he was, with all of us… so blame him for any flaws I may have. But if you say anything bad about Kakashi-sensei I will send you to detention, only I'm allowed to say bad things about my fellow staff."

"No you're not..."

Naruto glared.

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Yep. :) I think I might write about woodworks class next... or English.. or something. 


	3. Music class

Hmm I'm doubting this one too hah. but anyway it's up, better than nothing.

Enjoy.

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Music Class

_Ding Ding Ding._

The bell which suggested that play time is over, had just gone off in the playground. The students were slowly making their way to their next lesson.

"Hey, I wonder where this room is?" a girl said to her friend looking at her time table.

Her friend shrugged.

"We need to ask someone... oh look! There's a teacher, let's ask him." the other girl replied, pointing at a red haired male.

"Excuse me, umm…" the girl began.

He stopped and turned to look down on them with his icy blue eyes. His brows were furrowed and he looked somewhat pissed off.

"I err… we can't find this classroom... erm..." the girl stuttered.

He took her time table and took a look.

"Follow me." He said, his voice was quiet and soft - this was somewhat intimidating, and the girls followed him quietly.

As they were walking through the school, they noticed what seemed like a riot between a bunch of students. There seemed to have been a fight and a small, timid looking teacher was trying to control them. She didn't seem to be doing a good job of it, her worried expression on her purple eyes made it look as if she was about to cry.

"U-um e-excuse me can you st-stop… oh my, what do I do… U-um-um…" she seemed like she was going to have a panic attack.

The girls were watching curiously as they were following the red haired teacher, who just casually walked past ignoring everything. The girls were slightly shocked and confused.

"Isn't he supposed to be helping?" one of the girls whispered to her friend.

The female teacher noticed the red haired teacher.

"G-Gaara-kun! U-um… they won't listen to me! W-what do I do?" She asked rather desperately.

Gaara turned his head to look at her. He then turned around and walked up to the students.

"Stop." He said calmly and quietly. However with the riot the students were making, they failed to notice Gaara standing right behind them… and those who did had long gone.

Gaara then became angry.

"Girls, Hinata-san… Move back." He said to the female teacher and the two girls he was accompanied by.

Suddenly a gust of sand blew and the students all began to scream in pain. It then stopped and they all fell silent, some were whimpering. They all looked at him wide-eyed.

"S-sir… we weren't all involved in this, most of us were just watching." One boy said.

Gaara looked at him casually.

"I don't care; just don't make Hinata-san have to call me again. Because if that was to happen, you'll never have the chance to be involved in anything, ever again."

Hinata and the two girls stood there and just looked at the students. Gaara then began to walk again. The two girls followed him whereas Hinata told the students to disperse and she went off to do whatever.

Gaara was walking silently through a building, the older year students were avoiding eye contact and some even bowed _respectfully_ as he walked past them. He didn't seem to care, however. The girls followed him quietly because they didn't want to get on his bad side having seen how he handled the students earlier. There was some kind of weird, mysterious aura surrounding him and it caused the girls to wonder what their next teachers would be like….

Gaara stopped before a door and turned to the girls. He then knocked on the door, and a dark haired male opened. He looked at Gaara and then at the two girls, his brows were furrowed.

"It seems that your new students don't know how to read a simple map." Gaara said before he walked away.

The dark haired guy looked at him, and then turned to the girls. They gasped a little… he looked angry…

"Welcome…. You don't have to look so scarred; Gaara-kun is a good teacher." He said with a big pleasant smile on his face.

"Come in... I think all the students are here now."

The girls looked at their teacher confused, although they were relieved. He seemed like such a great and pleasant teacher with an adorable smile.

"Thank you sensei, sorry we're late." The girls said.

As they walked in, they noticed the classroom was a nice comfortable size with pictures and posters of music related things on the walls. However there was a small little thing that bothered the students; on the whiteboard there was a huge hole at the edge which looked like someone, with a giant hammer for a hand, had punched it. It had random marks and scratches at certain places too. Also the walls were in a really bad condition. The room looked like it was very confused…

"Well I'm Itachi. I teach music, obviously, but before we begin I'd like you all to introduce yourselves so that I know who you are and state what instrument you major at." He smiled.

The students began to introduce themselves and when they were done, Itachi got up.

"Okay. Now it's my turn, yes? I'm Uchiha Itachi and I play all instruments, because that is my job… I have a little well… let's just say quality, which I think you should all be aware of." He smiled again.

A little quality? What could possibly be bad about that?

"I kind of have weird mood swings every so often, but don't let them intimidate you. Feel free to ask me any questions you maybe unsure about." He said.

The students looked hesitant. However one boy put his hand up.

"Yes?" Itachi said pointing at him.

"Itachi-sensei, I was wondering… why are the board and the walls so messed up?" He asked.

Itachi looked at him with a poker face for a while.

"Accidents happened." He said simply. "Moving on… the room maybe a little on the rough side but; we have brand new instruments. Since the old ones got destroyed. Today's lesson is about getting to know your instruments so…"

Itachi walked over to a giant white sheet in the corner of the classroom and pulled it down to reveal a shine of beautiful brand new instruments. The class gasped and started chattering. Itachi smiled pleasantly.

"Pick one up and have fun. I'll come around to hear you all individually."

The students all got up excitedly and rushed to pick up the instruments. The quiet room was suddenly filled with music and excited chatter.

Eventually it reached the end of the lesson, and surprisingly enough, the kids all had enjoyed themselves and nothing weird had happened concerning the teacher. Itachi then told his class to quieten down.

"Homework." He said, whilst smiling.

The kids began to moan.

"Aww sensei, we already have tons of homework! We got so much from Sasuke-san." One of the kids shouted out.

Itachi's smile suddenly disappeared and it turned to a glare.

"Sasuke…….?" He said.

The children paused and looked at him confused.

"Err… yeah..."

"Sasuke? You value HIS work over MINE…?" Itachi said, sounding very deadly and pissed.

The students were now starting to get a little scarred. Itachi looked like he was about to kill something.

Suddenly a loud crash noise was heard and the students gasped; Itachi had, effortlessly, crashed one of the guitars into the rest of the instruments… the children were watching amazed. His eyes had gone red now (sharringan).

"Argh!! That spoiled idiot!!"

Itachi had obviously gotten into an argument with Sasuke that morning and so currently hated his guts. Also the competitive streak they were at didn't help either. It was the perfect name to get Itachi in murder mode. The children were just lucky he had new instruments to crush or this would have gotten very messy.

Itachi turned to the students, glaring. Suddenly he loosened up and looked at them casually.

"Who, in this class, has younger siblings?" he asked.

Some of the students, out of fear of being murdered, raised their hands.

Itachi's face turned empathetic.

"I know what it feels like to have to baby-sit spoiled little kids… I feel your pain…" he said. "As for the rest of you, forget about your lunch break you all have detention. Tch, spoiled brats..." he mumbled the last sentence whilst glaring at them.

The students didn't dare argue with him, they just got up and were about to leave.

"Oh by they way, don't forget to do your homework!" He said, smiling kindly now. "I'll see you all next lesson, have a good afternoon."

The two girls were on their way to lunch…

"We judged Itachi-sensei too quickly." one said.

The other nodded.

"Yeah, I guess now we know what those 'accidents' were and what his 'quality 'is…. I hope the sensei's don't get any worse…"

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Sorry I didn't do Gaara's class like I said I would, but you got a sneak peak of him ! 

Anywhos I seem to be asking this alot but! Do you guys want romance for this? I could get the teachers to hook up and whatnot... also this is going to be one long story...Thanks for reading. :)


	4. The sadist, the dullist, the strangist

My editor buddy hasn't checked this but I'm posting it anyway. I'll repost it she finds anything wrong with it which is probably everything! I don't know why but I'm never sure about the chapters of this fan fic. Damn writing style insecurities.

Thanks for the reviews and stuff dudes. Enjoy this chapter of extreme strangeness. - It's the results of sleep deprivation and coffee. I hate coffee.

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**The Sadist, The Dullist and the Strangist.**

There were a bunch of students looking around for their next classroom. Their timetable read "woodworks class". Woodworks class? They wondered why they needed such a class in Konoha, although they supposed it wasn't easy to just build houses amongst other stuff without having knowledge of how to conduct the materials and processes. They then saw the room number they were looking for. It was a dark red door with a black window, so you could not see through it. It didn't look very welcoming. They all hesitated for a moment… one of the students then opened the door and went inside as the rest followed.

They noticed a lot of machines in their, most of them looked abit dangerous, and there was a smell of sawdust and sand in the atmosphere, although the room itself was rather tidy.

Leaning against one of the machines, they saw a man with red hair and traditional Sand Village clothing.

"Um, Konnichiwa sensei. We're here for woodworks class…" A girl said.

His expression remained emotionless as he told his student to sit down.

"I am Gaara of the Desert; I am the woodworks sensei in this school. As you can see, there are a lot of **lethal** objects in this classroom…" he begun. "Which means that there are a lot of ways to… _accidentally _get hurt, very badly."

Some students raised their eyebrows at this, some chuckled… however, some of them had gone slightly pale.

Gaara handed out some sheets and told them to get on with it.

"Gaara-sensei, aren't you going to demonstrate to us how to do this?" a student questioned.

"You learn better if you do it yourself." Gaara said bluntly.

Although Gaara wasn't doing anything strange or, in some teacher's cases, dangerous, his constant glaring and dead facial expression unnerved the students. He was standing on the other side of the classroom from where most of the students were, which seemed to be a pretty dark area as there were shadows covering most of him.

Despite this, a while into the lesson the students began to talk and enjoyed the lesson somewhat. Eventually it began to sound more and more like a classroom which consisted of some chatter, noise of the machines, people dropping things and so on. One of the students sneezed.

"Gah! I hate sand its sooo annoying, I'm completely covered in it!"

"Don't say that! Gaara-sensei comes from the village of sand; you have a deathwish or something?" a blonde boy said, who had seemed a little worried throughout the lesson.

"Why would I have a deathwish? I just said I hate sand, and I do! And saw dust, it's so figity!"

"Maybe it's the sand that hates you." Gaara said quietly.

"But Gaara-sensei, its all over my face and hair and anyway, I'm not the only one! Why the heck did you chose this as your profession anyway? It must be so annoying." The student continued.

Gaara just looked at the student with no expression on his face.

The blonde boy looked worried.

The student continued to complain for about 7 minutes or so. Eventually the blonde boy spoke out.

"Shut up… stop complaining… Please!" He said, nudging the other student whilst looking to make sure Gaara hadn't heard.

"Be quiet, I'll complain if I want to!"

Suddenly, the student felt a presence behind him; he turned his head slightly to find that it was his sensei.

"I'll give you something to complain about…" he said as sand began to surround the boy.

"Umm… um… sensei…. The sand is moving…" he said.

"Is that a complaint I hear?" he said as the sand got closer to the boy.

"Well no but its strange… and its getting to close for comfort… and…"

The more the boy complained, the closer the sand got.

The blonde kid closed his eyes.

"I can't watch this! What my older sister said about Gaara-san classes were true…" he said to himself.

Meanwhile, in the English department;

"Okay settle down. I am Uchiha Sasuke, your English/Japanese sensei." Sasuke said as he watched his new group of students. He noticed something that didn't surprise him in the slightest… In fact it bothered him a lot; the girls all looked like they were in a state of trance.

"Before I do or say anything about the lesson, are there any questions?" He said this intentionally.

Just as he predicted, the girls raised their hands with a cheeky grin. Sasuke sighed.

"No, I don't have a girlfriend."

Some hands went down and smiles grew on the student's faces… it looked very freaky indeed.

"No, I am not married or into little girls. And no, you will never, ever have a chance with me."

Suddenly the girls looked completely disappointed, and all the hands went down but one.

Sasuke run a hand through his hair.

"No, I am not gay either."

There was a rather depressed/disappointed atmosphere in his classroom now. Sasuke smirked evilly. _Just as I like it…_ he thought.

"Well now that we have that sorted, do you have any actual questions that have nothing to do with the subject of me?"

A student raised his hand. Sasuke pointed at him.

"Yes?"

"Um, why does Itachi-san hate you and go all crazy when we mention you?" The boy asked.

Sasuke furrowed his brows.

"Allow me to correct myself; do you have any questions that have nothing to do with the subject of me, or my brother, or anything to do with my life or any Uchiha or any sensei or other lesson for that matter."

The students looked around to see if anyone was going to raise their hand, but no one did. Then again Sasuke didn't give them much to discuss.

"Good." He said. "Now, we will start with the first thing on our syllabus; Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. I'm sure you've all heard of it; if not then consider it something new and exciting." He said in a dull monotone.

"OOO do we get to role-play, Sasuke-sama?" a girl asked.

Sasuke's eye twitched a little.

"First of all, you are not my minion so you don't need to refer to me as Sama. And yes, you will role-play; it is part of the syllabus." He said.

"OOO will Sasuke-Sama role-play with us?" The girls began to excitedly chatter amongst each other.

"Sasuke-sama will send you all to Orochimaru-Sama and Anko-sama if you don't shut up. Idiots." Sasuke said, in a monotone still. "Or, since you seem to know Itachi-sensei, I could send you to his lesson. You might just be lucky enough to catch him in his most enjoyable mood. Well, enjoyable for me when I have the happy thoughts that someone else has to endure it…"

The students then quieted down. The lesson then consisted of love struck girls constantly calling Sasuke over to "help them with their work".

"This lesson is so dull… Times like these I wish I was a girl." One of the boys said whilst yawning. His friend raised an eyebrow.

"Uhh yeah, what you said minus the wanting to be a girl part." He replied.

/---------------/

If this was a movie, you'd now be looking at extremely confused/shocked faces of high school students. Some eyes twitching maybe.

"What? What?! You guys don't like it?!" a brown haired sensei with red triangles on his cheeks said.

"I-its not that we don't like it Kiba-sensei… it's just that this is fashion class and we though it was fashion for humans..."

"Woof!" Akamaru, err, woofed.

Kiba walked up to the student, their noses almost touching and glared at him.

"And what is so special about humans that make them superior to Canines? Are you being prejudice against dogs? Because you know, we have a strong non-prejudice policy in this school and Akamaru, _the assistant sensei_, will not be held responsible for the psychological damage detention will give you." He said.

The students sweat dropped.

"But sensei I was just saying…"

"Woof!"

"Exactly Akamaru-sensei. We will not hear anymore of this, now Akamaru-sensei will tell you your homework and I expect it all done for Friday no excuses."

"Woof woof! Rouf woof wof. Shriek woof! Woof woof!" Akamaru said matter of factly.

The students sweat dropped again.

"Good job Akamaru! I couldn't have said it better myself!" Kiba grinned. "You all got that right?"

The students all had blank faces. They didn't want to say they didn't get it in fear of being called prejudice against dogs.

"N-no sensei I erm didn't…"

"What? Why? I got it perfectly…"

"E-erm… I was daydreaming, sorry."

"Okay don't worry about it." The students looked extremely relived.

"Akamaru-sensei will explain again!" He grinned.

The student's eyes' widened. They were all doomed so they started planning excuses for why they didn't do their homework apart from the actual fact that they hadn't the slightest idea what the homework was.

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Haha, I was gonna do Sakura but I have a major obssession with Kiba at the moment. Hes so cool!! Sorry for the weird lessons, trust me we have them in the UK so its not complete crap. Oh and I did English/Japanese class because Sasuke does both, I suppose they have to learn English since I don't know much about Japanese literature. And plus Romeo and Juliete will be funny. 


	5. Math, Geography and Art

**(I re-updated this chapter because it's better now. –GRIN- ****If you read it already and can't be bothered to re-read all of it then the main changes are at the end of Kakashi's part and at the end of Hinata's part. Shika-chan stayed the same coz it seemed fine to me.)**

I like to update in bunches, true story.

I think I sucked the humour out of this one, -sobs- I need sleep sleeeeep

Disclaimer: I'd like to own Kakashi but I can't so, shame on me! You gotta love the perverted shinobis. Yes I don't own anything.

As usual enjoy, I hope it makes people laugh some, that's the point so... -shrugs-

Oh and please thank my lovely(evil) BETA(darkphoenix23) for checking and helping me write most of my stories and my brain is NOT stupid, I could SO come up with awesome stories. –frowns-

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One sunny afternoon at Konoha High, deep in the midst of this grand yet amazingly strange high school, in the department of mathematics and engineering… there did lay a classroom 4b. Inside this classroom, the students were lying, almost about to drift off to slumber, some completely frustrated out of their brain – that is to say the ones everyone else referred to as the "geeks" – others wishing something exciting would happen… Such as, for example, their teacher appearing to teach them the lesson so that they could go home.

Yes indeed, these students had been waiting countless minutes for their teacher to arrive but he had not. It's not that they weren't used to it, but it was incredibly irritating. Even the ones who hated the subject longed for him to come. Eventually they had given up and decided that this was actually incredible… I mean, free lesson anyone? Yes indeed, they decided to act like kids and take advantage however – there was only so much you can do in the mathematics department and they got bored even of having fun, that's how long they had been waiting. So now they were all lying around as if they all had heat stroke or something when suddenly – POOF!

"Hello boys and girls, you're going to have to forgive me – on my way here I got lost on the path of life and so I – ouch."

"Liar!! How can you get lost on the path of life in a high school?!" Yes, a frustrated "geek" had thrown a fat math book and her sensei.

"Okay, okay don't get so hasty… it's just maths." Kakashi replied, holding his perverted novel on his left hand and a bag on his right.

"Kakashi sensei, this is a double lesson and you came one whole hour late! What's up with that, our parents don't pay for nothing you know!"

"Umm, you pay to come to school? That's strange I thought this was a public school… anyway, let's begin."

It seems the students had forgiven their grey haired sensei and were eager for the lesson to finally begin.

Kakashi took one last look at his book, and decided that this the most interesting part of the chapter. Oh yes indeed, things were about to get steamy! He blushed. He grabbed his comfy teacher's chair and sat down to enjoy this upcoming chapter of excitement and romantic drama. He was about to take a sip of a no longer warm coffee as he giggled, when he heard overly dramatic sighs and coughs. He looked at his students, they looked like mothers who had stayed up all night awaiting their children and were about to give them a good ol' beating! Kakashi didn't know whether to be worried, amused or simply not care… but since he was, after all, Kakashi, he chose the last one.

"Why aren't you guys getting on with the lesson?" he questioned.

"We don't know what the lesson is."

"Wow, it feels like I'm teaching kinder garden. Here answer the questions on page 567" He said languidly.

"Kakashi-sensei, this is the circle theorem. We've never done this before, and it is for advanced students. Can you explain it please?" the students protested, somewhat.

"Explain it? I don't know what the circle theorem is read the book."

"Then why are you a _maths_ teacher?" the students were confused.

"Oh, they ran out of willing candidates to teach." Kakashi smiled under his mask.

"……."

Kakashi sighed deeply.

"Okay lets do a recap of the 5 times table? Do you want me to teach it to you or do we all know it?" Kakashi asked, putting down his book briefly.

The students sweat dropped.

"Okay! 1 times 5 equal 5. Repeat after me okay? 2 times 5 is… um yes?"

A student had his hand up.

"Sensei, please don't patronize us." He said.

"Oh… well I'm sorry. If you all know it then here are some challenging questions on it. Now um, if you need help ask your neighbor, if they don't know then go to head of department."

"Why can't we ask you?"

"Well, I'll be so into the book I might spill out the plot to you all" He replied.

The students scrunched their faces in disgust, knowing roughly the contents of the book.

And so the lesson continued with the students doing brainless work whilst their sensei enjoyed a mature romantic novel.

However, this wonderfully perfect moment didn't last too long for Kakashi. Someone raised their hand up again.

"Yes?" Kakashi asked without raising his head from his novel.

"Sensei… this work is insulting my intelligence." The kid said, his eyebrow twitching slightly.

Kakashi raised his head from his novel and starred at the kid for a moment.

"So…?"

"Can we please do something more challenging?" He requested.

The other kids looked at him questioningly. Some would have been moaning if they hadn't seen by a mile off what was coming.

"Well, do the 6 times table then. Whatever pleases you." Kakashi returned to his novel.

"Sensei that's not what I mean… I want to do REAL math work. Please, I'm eager to learn in this lesson and this work well, it's just that we covered this all I know my times table perfectly!" The kid complained.

Kakashi sighed; this wasn't as easy as he thought it would be when he agreed to take up the role of maths teacher.

"If you just occupy yourself with something, I'll give you a sticker for learning all your times table later." He said slowly as he turned the next page of the novel.

The boy frowned.

"Sensei this is really unfair!"

"You're a smart boy, I'm sure you can teach yourself maths without my help. You sound like a more intelligent version of Naruto…" Kakashi said that last sentence mainly to himself. He was, however, due to realize that it was a big mistake he didn't say it completely to himself.

"Sensei that reminds me! You taught Sasuke-sensei didn't you?!!" One of the girls screamed out. This made a lot of little school girl heads look up as they too realized this was indeed true. "Sensei will you please tell us about him? Please?!" They requested.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow.

"Why would I tell you stuff about…?"

"Well then can you please teach MATHS?" The boy from before figured he'd try his luck one more time.

Kakashi pondered for a moment. Which to chose, mindless talk about his ex-pupil to a bunch of love struck school girls, or put effort and brain power into trying to figure out Pythagoras theorem and fractions and the such? He knew he couldn't enjoy his novel properly with students moaning every five minutes so thus he only had these two choices left. He put his book down.

"So when I first met Sasuke, he was a real idiot. He went about throwing kunais mindlessly with nothing but revenge in his mind and insulting Naruto, of course everyone did the later… However I could tell that Sasuke did have…"

In the meantime…

On the other side of the school…

"As we have seen, clouds are visible accumulations of water droplets or solid ice crystals that float in the Earth's troposphere which, for those of you who don't know, is the lowest part of the Earth's atmosphere, and they are constantly moving with the wind. From space, clouds are visible as a white veil surrounding the planet. Now, clouds form when water vapor condenses onto microscopic dust particles floating in the air. This condensation, or cloud formation, happens when warm and cold air meet, when warm air rises up the side of a mountain and cools as it rises, and when warm air flows over a colder area, like a cool body of water. This occurs because cool air can hold less water vapour than warm air, and excess water condenses into either liquid or ice."

Shikamaru finished scribbling down the last part of his diagram on the white board.

"Now you should all take down this information. Does anyone here know how many different kinds of clouds there are?"

The students watched with blank faces.

"Jeez talk about enthusiastic. How troublesome. Well, there are 11. They are place in three different, obvious categories. The first is low clouds, middle clouds and finally high clouds. My favorite is probably the cumulus cloud because they always make for such interesting shapes." Shikamaru spoke in quite a monotone, bored manner as usual.

"Does anyone have any idea of what any of the other clouds are called apart from the one I just named?"

A student raised his hand.

"Sir, with all due respect, why are we doing this?" he asked.

"Well, it might be troublesome but this is Humanities class, and we are to start with geography. And clouds are part of geography. I like it better than history that's for sure." He said.

"Oh… okay…"

"This is boring." Another student called out.

Shikamaru sat down.

"This is troublesome… Okay everyone get up, we're going outside."

The whole class suddenly became excited. Finally something exciting was going to happen in this classroom!

-Outside-

"Ahhh. The most relaxing, non-troublesome thing in the world."

Shikamaru and his students were all lying down on the grass watching…. Clouds.

"What better way to learn about clouds. Look, that's the alto-cumulus… and there's a nimbo stratus. Do you see it?"

Shikamaru awaited a reply for a while. He then heard something funny.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" "Mumble mumble Sasuke-sensei….." "No… no st- get away!! Get away from me big, giant ramen bowl!…. Please!" "Can you pass me the pepper spray?" "Must… avoid…tree…."

Shikamaru raised his eyebrow.

_What the hell are these kids dreaming about…eh, what the heck. _

So Shikamaru joined his pupils and took a nap, to avoid getting completely freaked out by their sleep talking.

-Art class-

"And that is how the idea of the Hokage sculptures on the cliff were developed. On Monday we will have something more exciting to learn about." Hinata explained to her class.

"Umm Hinata-sensei… I don't understand anything."

"Oh..." Hinata blushed. "I-is there a reason?"

"Well…. I can't hear you." A student at the center of the room said.

"O-oh… I'm sorry. I will try and be louder."

"What?"

"I will speak up. Next time."

"Sensei I can't..."

"IS THIS LOUD ENOUG FOR YOU?!"

The student starred at his timid teacher in shock. She had been tolerant for the past 10 weeks with the students not hearing her and complaining, but it seemed that not even the quiet Hinata could take the stress of teaching.

Hinata placed her hands before her mouth and gasped.

"Oh… How unlike me. I'm so sorry Daiki-kun, I will give you all handouts to read so that you understand today's lesson better," She said blushing madly.

"H-Hinata sensei I didn't mean to insult you…" the boy looked like he was ready to cry.

"Oh… I know. Please don't cry. It's okay…."

The boy sniffled but he began to cry regardless.

"O-oh dear… Please, don't cry I didn't mean to shout." Hinata pleaded. "U-umm… oh god." She bit her lip wondering what to do… she'd never made anyone cry before and it felt horrible. She felt like such a horrible person, like she'd suddenly let lose a crazy monster within her. Oh what was she going to do? Her heart was racing.

"I-I'm so sorry, I-I'll get you to sit at the front next time so you can hear better… H-how's that? Have you stopped… crying…?" Hinata said in worry, she was blushing more and more by the second.

The boy shook his head. She really couldn't take this anymore, suddenly she felt a little woozy and everything was turning black when…

The boy wiped his tears whilst sniffling and he tilted his head to see his sensei, who had now collapsed to the floor. "Hinata-sensei, are you okay?" he said.

"You doofas! She fainted!" another kid called out causing the boy to begin crying again. "Someone should call the ambulance!" a student suggested.

"We could throw water at her…"

"No, that's just mean; let's just shout until someone hears us."

And with that, they all began to run around the classroom screaming and crying; they had also made sure the door was open so that someone was bound to hear them.

Naruto has been happily walking around the school headed towards the staffroom, when he heard the most obnoxious noises coming from Hinata's classroom.

"Oh my god!! She's fainted! Someone come help us our sensei has collapsed!!!" Was all he could hear which caused his eyes to widen with worry. He began to run towards the source of the noise, and when he reached the classroom he saw Hinata on the floor and the kids literally out of control.

"Hinata-chan?!" He shouted, and so the children hushed. "What the hell happened?!" he asked as he went to pick her up. The children briefly explained. Naruto sighed as he felt back with relief.

"That's it? Why didn't you just send someone to find a teacher? Jeez today's youngster's are so dumb." He said.

"Naruto-sensei, we get detention if we leave our class without permission… even in emergencies" One of the students pointed out.

"Yeah well, whoever came up with the rule is dumb t-" He then paused as he realized that was something he told his class in order to "scare" them. It appeared that word in Konoha High spread quickly. "Never mind about that… Hinata wake up." He turned his attention to the unconscious female in his arms who slowly began to stir. As her vision focused, she saw the smiling face of Naruto greeting her. She began to blush madly as she realized that she was in his arms – one would have thought that after all these years even such a devoted crush would learn to get over waking up in the arms of the one she admired. However this was not the case with Hinata. She immediately stuttered his name as she fell unconscious yet again.

Naruto scratched his head as he tried to figure out why he had that affect on her every time. Yes indeed, even after all these years Naruto remained clueless to that crush.

"I think Hinata-sensei likes you." One of the students suggested.

Naruto looked at them and began to point and laugh. "Children have such strange imagination haha." He said in reply.

* * *

A penny for your thoughts? (sorry I've always wanted to use that..)


	6. Raising money for the school

Really short chapter but I think it might be appropriate. I and BETA-chan (lol) do think it's better this way.

I haven't much to say for once. Enjoy.

* * *

**The competition.**

It was after school hours so all the students had returned home. The teachers and staff however were all gathered in the staffroom on Tsunade's request. She had told them that she had an important announcement to make. Everyone was waiting around lazily, it was almost complete silence considering everyone was too tired to say or do anything… Apart from one of course. "What the hell does Tsunade want now? I'm hungry and tired from doing all that marking!" Naruto complained.

"Naruto, your marking involved eating ramen… How can you be hungry and tired?!" Sakura questioned. Naruto simply shrugged. "And what good ramen it was, I get hungry just thinking about it."

"Don't mention food dope. Please." Sasuke, who was languidly resting his upper half across one of the tables, said. "Those stupid fan girls gave me so much of it I feel like I'm going to die."

"First of all don't you always feel like dying or being depressed or whatever? Secondly, why did you eat it if it made you sick?!" Naruto asked.

Sasuke gave him something of a death glare in nature. "I was bored in class." He said simply, choosing to ignore his first remark.

"Figures. Anyway, they probably want you to get fat so no one else will look at you and so they can have you to themselves" Naruto snickered.

"Naruto you sure do know the mind of a fan girl well, it kind of makes me wonder whether you actually do know how they feel." Kiba laughed.

"Just WHAT are you suggesting?!" Naruto was about to jump on Kiba. "Are you saying I find Sasuke attractive, because if that's it then you've been living in a cage for the past 10 years! At least I'm not into animals!" Naruto said in attempt to spite Kiba.

Kiba growled, this would have gotten ugly if Tsunade hadn't burst in the room. "Hello Konoha High staff!" she said bubbly, in contrast with the atmosphere to the rest of the room. "Look at all these gloomy faces. Well my announcement will surely wash it all away!" she began. "as we all know; you are not the best teachers in the world. In fact, I can safely say you all completly suck in one way or another… Unfortunately, this is costing the school a lot of money and I'm not willing to go into debts again. Are you all with me so far?"

"Maybe if you got to the point, we would be." Sai said what everyone else was thinking.

"This is so troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.

"I'm in too much of a good mood to sack you two right now. So I will continue. Because you all slack so much, I have come up with a cleaver plan to sort out all the money problems. We are going to be holding an art competition with money as the grand prize. Whoever wins will receive a lot of _money_. And this is a STAFF only competition; the students will be the deciding factors of some things such as who joins and who wins. Anyway the one who wins will be able to contribute well in the schools budget. I don't want to name anyone but some expensive teachers, such as Gaara and Itachi who ruin equipment and children bones on a daily basis, should be trying EXTRA hard." Tsunade was now starring into the faces of her indifferent colleagues. They really didn't seem to care, apart from the obvious ones.

"This sounds like FUN! Besides more money, more ramen…" Naruto shouted.

"Tsunade-sama, that does sound like a very good plan. I will definitely work hard and try my best!" Lee also shouted.

"I'm sorry Tsunade but, I beg to differ. My equipment is still usable even if I chose to throw them at my students on the _rare _occasion." Itachi tried to sugar coat his personality problems.

"Oh really Itachi? Is that why even the charity shop threw them back in our faces? Remember that grand piano we ordered that cost us a fortune, by the end of it we barely found a single key left. I mean what did you do, eat it? Not to mention the violin's and guitar string…"

Itachi frowned. "Hey, I never asked for new stuff."

"Me neither, my woodworks machine's look fine to me…" Gaara decided to join in.

"Gaara you are indeed right however, the blood stains and other human parts don't provide a very comfortable working area. And plus they only vaguely work well." Tsunade looked around. "Anyone else have any objections?" she asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, if we suck so much why did you hire us against our will?" Sasuke decided to answer it regardless.

"Against _your_ will Sasuke. I don't think you can speak for everyone." Tsunade countered.

"Yeah, I like my students." Sakura, the science teacher, smiled.

Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "But Sakura… They're stupid little children." He said.

"And weren't you one once Sasuke? Kakashi-sensei had to deal with that, think about how he felt." Sakura replied.

Naruto suddenly got all reminiscent. "Yeah, I wonder how he's doing now, and where he is… and if he ever finished those perverted books, OH and if he still keeps that dumb mask on and I wonder what colour his hair is now that he's old I mean it was grey to begin with, so what's it now, fallen off? Man there are so many questions I'd like to ask him…" However Naruto was cut off by loud coughing and the presence of someone behind him. He turned around. "K-Kakashi-sensei! What are you doing in this school?! Man I miss you!" Naruto had temporary memory loss it seemed.

"I work here Naruto; you tried to steal my novel just yesterday. But my, it seems you are even more of a fish then I remember." Kakashi smiled under his mask.

Sasuke looked at Naruto as if he was an idiot. He decided however to continue the conversation he had before. "Anyway, I was never a stupid child like the ones at this high school, or the majority in this room for that matter." He said.

"Beg to differ." Itachi said from the corner.

"Stop saying that…" Temari said irritably.

"What? It's true, he was a stupid kid."

"Itachi I have no interest in talking to you right now." Sasuke's eyebrow was twitching slightly. He was trying to have a conversation with Sakura, but everyone was getting in the way.

"Tsunade, may I leave now?" Gaara, who was getting really aggravated with the amount of stupidity in the room, decided to ask.

"Nope." She said, causing Gaara to give a deadly look. "Everyone dismissed from the meeting! Now you can go Gaara." She smiled.

Gaara looked at her apathetically as he walked out of the room first.

"Come on foolish little brother, let's go home." Itachi grabbed Sasuke by the shoulder and dragged him out the door before he had the chance to do anything about it. It seemed that Itachi was in one of his more cheerful personalities at the current moment. However as they got out you could hear Sasuke screaming at him whereas Itachi was silent, possibly because he was too busy smiling carelessly.

"Well this'll be fun, I wonder if it's legal to let some of the sensei's join coughOROCHIMARUcough." Naruto said. He then felt the hair's on his neck raise as he felt somone's presence. "Don't worry Naruto-kun, I won't do anything ungodly." Orochimaru grinned at him...

This was going to be interesting indeed.

* * *

Aha we're seeing changes. 'bout time ne?


	7. Don't mess with my puppets

It's a kinda long chapter, sorry. 

**Warning:** I dunno how far shippuuden has gotten but if you haven't watch that much of it then there might be slight spoilers concerning Sasori. I don't think its a biggie but better to be safe that sorry.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 7 - Debt**

In the humanities department.

Neji picked up his books as he finished his last sentence.

"And that settles today's lesson on how Buddhism influences the society around us." He has a superior look on his face as he said this. "Please remember your assignment. It is due for 2 days."

A student raised his hand.

"Yes."

"Neji-sensei" the boy smirked. "What _was_ our assignment?"

Neji glared at the boy, knowing his intentions. He then looked at him unnervingly.

"The, assignment, is written in your journal, I see no reason to repeat myself." The bell went off. "Class dismissed."

Neji turned and faced Tsunade. "Well, are you satisfied? Will you stop babysitting me now?" he said.

Tsunade grinned. She then sighed. "I'm sorry Neji, it's just that everyone in this school is slacking, and hearing that you teach and exploit the greatness of your clan as a 'religion' of its own, rather than doing actual religions like the Religious Education teacher you are, I had to make sure the rumors were not true. It's nothing personal." She said.

Neji nodded sympathetically as Tsunade left before she told him to "keep up the good work."

Suddenly, as soon as Tsunade was out of sight, Neji spotted the boy that questioned him before. He called him over.

"Y-yes sensei?" He said.

"Exactly what was that before? I suggest you explain yourself." Neji replied.

The boy looked extremely worried. "W-well, it was just a joke… sensei."

And thus, not a very wise one, as the contents of this assignment was something like _3000 words on the Hyuuga clan's destiny of greatness. _And so the boy was sentenced to detention.

It was now lunch time, a time where the students could get away from the madness of their subject teachers. Or so, they thought. For the boys it probably was, but there were many impurities lurking around the school walls or, more accurately, the school's halls themselves.

Jiraiya sighed deeply as he leaned on a broom stick. It was a warm sunny day and he, as the school's janitor, was stuck cleaning floors and picking up dirt. He didn't mind it when the school girls in their small little uniforms walked by; however it was strange even for him to be perving on the young-uns that hadn't even fully developed, which is possibly why every lunch time Tsunade would force him to clean up the locker rooms of the first years, **_only_**. It was not like she hadn't given him a chance at having a real profession, but he blew it every time by not keeping his eyes to himself. He was even awarded the chance of assistant deputy head, but even that was impossible for him, so it was then handed out to Orochimaru, the other of the three sannins. Suddenly, he saw something he hadn't seen in quite a while – the chest of a fully grown woman. Despite it being fully clothed, it still caused his eyes to widen and a blush to arise.

"Hey, there. How can Jiraiya the legendary, err, janitor help you?" He said to a skeptical blond.

"O-oh." She blushed. "I was asked to deliver something to you, ero-sennin." She said, with a suggestive look in her eyes.

If he wasn't so flushed and mesmerized by the amount of sexiness that was emitting from the female, he might have noticed that there was something wrong with this scene as the girl grabbed him by the collar and neared his face to hers. All of a sudden – poof!

A grinning Naruto appeared before him.

"You're too easy, ero-sennin!" he said as he made a run for it.

"NARUTO!! That's not funny!!" Jiraiya then chased Naruto with his broom.

A bunch of the students in the common room laughed and giggled. It was not unusual for Naruto-sensei to pull such pranks.

Meanwhile, by the school gates, Deidara was doodling random butterflies and watching them come to life, whilst Sasori was watching the clouds mindlessly.

They were interrupted as Naruto and a fuming perverted hermit were headed towards them. Having noticed this, Sasori did some hand movements and had a puppet appear inform of them, it held out its hand.

"Halt!" Sasori said firmly.

Naruto put pressure on his heels in order to stop, and he managed to stop just before the puppet's hand could touch his nose. However, Jiraiya, being behind Naruto, was not as successful and he crushed into Naruto causing them to fall on the puppet. Sasori frowned.

"You are not permitted to leave the school walls during school hours, at any circumstance, unless you have a valid note from the head." He said.

The puppet lifted itself above Naruto and Jiraiya, and as it was about to grab the both of them, it began to wobble and then collapsed on the floor, cracking somewhat. Sasori's frown deepened.

"We weren't leaving the building; it's just that the perverted hermit was chasing me, Sasori." Naruto grinned.

"It's not my fault you pretended to be a babe and made a fool out of me, again! It's not nice to toy with a person like that, have you learned nothing?!" The hermit rambled. Naruto simply grinned sheepishly.

Sasori's eyes continued to move from the pair, to his dislocated puppet for a few moments. There was silence as this happened. Suddenly the silence was broken by the other gate-keeper.

"Oooh Sasori, look at this one… wow it's a masterpiece! Even if I do say so myself. Yeah!" Deidara was giggling at an overgrown butterfly he had created.

Everyone turned to look at him for a while.

"Welll, it was fun hanging out with you gatekeeper guys but, me and the runt will be leaving now." Jiraiya said. As they both got up to leave, a flock of puppets blocked their way in to the school. Two of them approached, and grabbed Naruto and Jiraiya but the shoulder and upper arm leading them towards Sasori.

///////Moments later…

The bell had finally gone and the children were heading to their next lessons.

For one particular group, it was time for their history lesson. As they entered the familiar classroom, the saw their teacher wearing his usual black attire with a cat-like hood and purple face paint. He was leaning back on his chair with his feet on the table, and quickly put them down as he saw his students enter the room.

Unlike many of the other teachers, for their lessons so far Kankuro had actually been teaching his students things on the syllabus, however recently he had decided he was bored of history, he knew the history of the sand village already thus he simply could not be bothered to learn about every other country. So he had decided to replace this with something more "fun" and yet still make it relevant to the subject. He made this announcement to his students.

"Um I'd like you all to forget last weeks homework, we're doing something new now." He said. There was some chatter amongst the children, since the syllabus seemed to have moved so fast. "We will be learning about my personally favorite subject; the history of puppets." He said, grinning.

Everyone looked doubtful.

"You mean, the kind that that gatekeeper uses to guard the school?" a kid said, he was of course talking about Sasori.

"Ah yes, exactly that. He is one of our key people in this subject." Kankuro continued to grin.

"But he's still alive…"

"So?"

"In history we usually learn about key dead people……." The kid pointed out.

Kankuro pondered this.

"You're right. But you're also wrong. You see, Sasori is in fact dead…. Kinda." This made everyone gasp and give questioning looks. Many students were freaked out, however little did they know that this was only the beginning…

Kankuro cleared his throat.

"Yeah, this is jumping the topic a bit…" he began, which was an understatement seeing as he completely skipped the first topic. "But basically one of the amazing things about puppets is that you can create them out of real people, whether they are dead or alive, and you can still keep all the chakra and kekkei genkai the person who was alive had."

Despite all this _fascinating_ new information they had received, there was only one thing that boggled the student's minds.

"So Sasori is actually a puppet?"

"Yeps"

"Then how do you make puppets out of real people?"

Kankuro grinned. That was his favorite part of the "syllabus" and he didn't hesitate describing it in full detail to his students.

//Meanwhile, in the arts department…

"Hello boy and girls! I have a fun packed drama lesson for you all today!" Ino said in a high pitched voice. "Furthering our lesson on how to get a guy to notice you, today will be ever MORE fun, trust me." She giggled.

"Ino-sensei, is this really drama? Aren't we supposed to act?"

"We will, we will! I'm just getting you into the whole feel of this, okay? Now let's pretend this guy you want to get is called Sasuke…" as she said this, the girls' interest was immediately caught.

"Sasuke-sensei? Well that won't be hard to act out." The girls giggled, Ino joining them.

"Of course it won't, but before we begin I would just like to say; SHAME you're all too young for him! Me on the other hand…" she blushed.

The girl's frowned.

"Anyway, let's begin…Mission; how to get Sasuke. Any young fresh ideas that might work are welcome ne? Let's work as a team girls!" Ino shouted.

The boys were all currently sweat dropping.

"Umm sensei, what are we supposed to do?" one said.

Ino put a hand on her chin a thought for a while. She then raised her index finger.

"Hasn't it ever crossed your minds how pretty Sasuke-kun looks when he's wearing that sexy, professional suit of his?" she said suggestively.

Even so, there were some that blushed and nodded. The others remained unconvinced so Ino continued...

"Or if not, then haven't you ever noticed how many girls he can easily get?" She grinned as the rest of the boys nodded. "Okay then let's continue with Mission; How to _get_, and how to _be_ Sasuke-kun!"

The students all cheered a "yeah!" and continued acting random scenes Ino assigned them.

It was now the end of the lessons, and a bunch of students walked out of the history lesson, many of them grasping their stomachs.

"That… was… disgusting." Someone said.

"Too right, I can't believe Sasori-sensei did that to others and even his own guts and skin and… Oh crap." The girl covered her mouth.

"I thought that was TOO COOL!! I want to be a puppet shinobi when I leave GEN ED school!!" one of the boys shouted as he run out the classroom. "Shinobi like Sasori-san and Kankuro-sensei, I want to be like them!!"

"You're sick!" another student complained.

Kankuro walked out grinning. "That was the best lesson I've ever had" he laughed as he watched his students looking for the nearest toilet to puke.

It was clear that from now on, the children would not be able to see the puppets hovering around the school, making sure justice was in order, in the same way ever again. As they were about to leave the building, they saw a huge smile plastered on the face of an old looking puppet, that was standing right before them.

"CHICHI!!!!!!!" They all screamed as they run away from the _father_ puppet, which they had learnt alllll about in their "history" lesson.

//////// In the school garden. Deep inside the greenhouse...

Shino adjusted his glasses as he was finishing off preparing the last plant, with help of his trusty assistant bugs, for his lesson today. The bell rang suggesting that the students would enter any minute. Indeed, they all began walking into the greenhouse moments later and greeted their sensei.

"Sensei, what are you doing?" a kid said.

"You will find out soon enough." Shino answered.

He had his back faced to the kids and looked like he was struggling a little with whatever he was doing. Without changing positions, he placed a white sheet over all the plants.

"In today's herbology lesson, you will be helping me rid the world of dozens of disgusting creatures that pose threat to a wonderful group of members of our society."

"We're killing bugs?!" someone shouted out.

Shino twitched. He placed both hands on his desk and leaned on them; he looked like he was about to cry, or laugh like an evil maniac…

"Get out." He said, having done neither of the above. "It's the complete opposite, in fact. But if that's what you expect then get out."

He then continued. "All these weeks I have been teaching you about the concept of B.A.O.F society; 'Bugs Are Our Friends'. I even placed it in simple form for your puny minds to understand. If you are to become shinobi of this organization one day, this lesson is vital. So no fooling around, anymore of that and you will have detention." He said.

"Um, sensei… is BOAF a real organization?"

"No, not as yet. But mark my words, you'll be hearing of it soon enough." Shino reassured. "As members of this organization that will eventually come into existence, I would like to introduce to you our _worst_ enemy." Suddenly the lights went off, and there was a spotlight on the place where Shino had put the white cloth – all courtesy of the great lighting technology arranged by Shino's bugs and co.

"Behold." Shino said for dramatic effect, as he equally as dramatically lifted the sheet revealing ordinary looking plants.

"Flowers? Don't bugs like flowers…?"

"NOT ordinary flowers; Insectivorous Plants. This one here..." Shino pointed at the biggest plant there. "Sarracenia purpurea, or more widely know as, the pitcher plant. It lures our little friends with her beautiful colours and smooth skin that provides fine shelter for them… while it lasts. Eventually, she traps them, and fries them, and skins them just before she's prepared them and that is the end of our little friends! They are eaten."

Shino was breathing rather deeply, like a dictator after a charismatic speech. He then straightened up and faced his class as he spoke in a professional manner.

"Your task, comrades, is to pick one these preposterous creatures up and then pick up a very detailed informational sheet about them. You are to observe and read and understand them. As the saying correctly goes, _you must keep your enemies closer._" He said; there was a glint in his eye, so bright, that you could even see it through his shades. "And then, you will _crush_ them."

There were gasps from the crowd.

"L-literally crush them?" a kid asked.

"Yes." Shino responded. "Whichever way you find most enjoyable, you can use kunais, shirukens, any form of ninjutsu, taijutsu or kekkei genkai you may possess. You can even use your bare hands, if you read and found out that they don't contain any form of poison or dangerous toxins."

He said this in a calm monotone.

The students looked confused.

"I will give you a demonstration." He said as he picked up one of the plants. "This one here, despite being held hostage, felt smart and _daring_ and as soon as my back was turned for a mere second, it blindly took one of our own into its sly fangs and silently took his life away. One moment silence please." He said as he lowered his head. The students followed.

A moment later…

"This is the punishment it will receive for being so cocky."

He smashed the plant against the floor causing it to explode all over the room, its guts staining the children's faces.

"Please, do not show the rest the mercy I showed this one. Once the deed is done, we will conclude the lesson." Shino noticed that a student had her hand raised.

"Sensei isn't herbology about herbal medicine and the such?" she questioned, rationally.

"Maybe so, but I find this a much, MUCH more important matter. If there are any objections take it to the head. We will do more herbal medicine later on in the year… Possibly. Now take those plants and grill them!" Shino said.

The rest of the lesson was rather interesting. It was a sight of a bunch of children stomping and killing bug-eating plants, whilst their sensei stood in the middle of the room snickering to himself, along with his bugs that felt safe as ever.

///30 minutes after the end of the school day… back at the front gates of Konoha High.

Naruto had a huge sheepish grin on his face and was holding a puppet in front of an unconvinced Sasori.

"I don't know… I could have sworn he's eyes were not that squishy." He said as he rubbed his chin, and poked his puppet's eye continuously.

Naruto sweat dropped.

"Well, the truth is… I couldn't find his real eyeballs." Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh?" Sasori said. "And what did you replace them with?"

"Umm… Liquorice sweets"

Sasori raised an eyebrow.

"If you ever get hungry half way through a battle, you can help your self! – ouch!"

Sasori slapped Naruto at the back of his head. "Keep working." He then turned to a mumbling Jiraiya. "How's it going, perverted hermit?" He said.

Jiraiya twitched and mumbled something like "stop calling me that you stupid kid!!"

Regardless he didn't say it out loud. "I finished brushing your mother's hair, now I'm oiling her joints and giving this other one a foot massage. I have 8 more puppets to do and repeat the whole routine over, at this rate I think I'll be finished by midnight!" He said, trying his best to keep a smile on his face.

Sasori nodded in approval. Once Sasori wasn't watching, Jiraiya began to have teary eyes and whimpered as he looked at the sky. _This was NOT the kind of woman I'd like myself to be doing these things to. _He cried in his head.

"Wow, Naruto has a lot more to do yeah? You better hurry up if you don't want to pull an all-nighter." Deidara said.

"I don't mind, puppets don't really need to sleep anyway." Sasori pointed out, much to Naruto and Jiraiya's horror.

"True that." Deidara said grinning.

Naruto then began to whine. "B-but, we're not puppets! And we need, NEED sleep otherwise act like PMS-ing teenagers the whole day!"

"Then think about whose puppet you break next time, you're lucky he didn't feed you to them." Deidara snickered; he was getting a lot of amusement out of the situation.

"Would you like me to turn you into puppets? I wouldn't mind having the nine-tailed fox and a Sennin added to my collection. Plus it would make your lives easier." He, ever so kindly, suggested.

"N-no, we're fine." They answered quickly and simultaneously.

"Suit yourselves then, and stop complaining."

Regardless, after about 5 minutes Naruto and Jiraiya continued to complain and try to get out of it throughout the evening, with no avail, possibly as they would until they had completed their debt to Sasori for ruining his precious puppet.

* * *

Not so sure about Deidara and Sasori's characters - does Deidara say "yeah" alot 'cause I've seen people at fanfic use it alot on him. (still cant watch shippuuden due to crappy internet.)

Anyway, I have a little "poll" thing that my friend (darkphoenix23) suggested I do. As you can see half the time I make up the children's names or call them "that kid" haha. SO if you want **YOUR** name to appear in this fanfic let me know in a review or message or something.

It should look something like this:

* * *

**Name:** "YOUR NAME"

**Age:** (this can be your real age or whatever age you'd like to be, keeping in mind it's a high school so you have certain age limits. you can chose to not specify your age though, its not that important.)

**Preferable Naruto character you'd like to be taught by: **

**Personality:

* * *

**

The personality part is 'cause I don't wanna make someone out to be a fangirl/boy when they dislike fangirling/boying or whatever, ne? Anyway, this would be much appreciated and FUN! Hopefully.

Next chapter - Just WHAT is so bad about the boy's detention you ask? All will be revealed. XD kinda..

* * *


	8. Detention classes

It's been a freaking adventure trying to upload this chapter, really. Curse you internet!

But nevertheless, here it is.

**Warning -** err yeah, I felt I should put a warning here after realising how much hinted pervertedness this chapter contains. It's nothing explicit but still.

As usual, enjoy.

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Chapter 8 - DETENTION.

It was the end of the period before lunch time at Konoha High, one sunny afternoon. Hinata had finished picking up her documents and locked up her classroom to head of to break duty. She began heading for the Mathematics department.

When she reached there, she happened to bump into a blond, hyperactive member of staff. At this moment the halls of the maths building were completely empty except for her and the blond male. Hinata smiled as she approached him.

"Hello Naruto-kun." She said.

She noticed though, that he seemed to have a spaced out look on his face, which was wiped away when she spoke to him.

"Oh hello Hinata! How's it going?" he said back, grinning.

"Good, I was just going to drop off some files here…how come you're here Naruto-kun?" she asked.

Naruto blushed slightly.

"Well you see… I was actually hoping to you know, _bump_ into someone." He said.

"O-oh? Who?" Hinata asked curiously.

"Just a certain female sensei… I mean she doesn't work in this department but I didn't want to make it obvious by going to _her_ department… It's kinda complicated…can't really tell you who she is because I might be giving it away and stuff." Naruto rambled.

Hinata was confused. Should she have felt jealous? Somewhat there was the possibly that he could be talking about her, although it was too vague to be jumping to such conclusions.

"I used to think she didn't like me but now I realized something, since I'm more mature and all; what if she's just too shy to let me know how she feels?" Naruto continued.

Hinata's heart almost stopped and a huge blush began to show on her face. She couldn't possibly think of another female teacher in the school who was _too shy_. That last sentence was just too perfect to be coincidence. It had to be her he was talking about!

"Yeah, I might just let her know that the feelings mutual… If I drop it on her gently then, maybe she won't feel so intimidated anymore…" He continued, it was almost as if he was talking to himself.

"Na-Naruto… I, um… I'm so…" Hinata could feel the blush radiating from her cheeks, and her heartbeat was growing. Was he about to tell her cared for her? Finally? After all these years of being completely clueless? This was growing to be too much for Hinata to take.

"Hinata, are you okay? You look a little flustered." Naruto had a confused expression on his face.

"U-um I'm F-fine… I just…"

This was the worst possible time for her to be getting overwhelmed, just when Naruto was indirectly confessing to his feelings; however it could not be helped. Suddenly, Hinata collapsed to the floor. Naruto's eyes widened. "Hinata?! A-are you okay!?" Naruto screamed as he fell on his knees and picked the collapsed woman up. He placed his fingers on her wrist to see if she was still alive.

"Maybe she needs resuscitation! That's about the only thing I remember from teacher's training anyway…" Naruto rationed.

He leaned over her and his face was getting closer and closer to hers until the point where their noses almost touched. Hinata began to stir, as she did the first thing she saw was her childhood crush above her, making a kissy face. This mislead her further into thinking that the woman he was talking about was indeed her, and so she fainted again.

Naruto was struggling and so decided he was just going to scream for help when –

"What the heck are you doing to Hinata?" he heard a calm yet cold voice say.

"Gaara! Thank God you're here, I need help." Naruto said.

Gaara raised his brow; from where he was standing this did not look right at all, and the fact that Naruto asked his for 'help' didn't make it any better.

"Should you be doing such things in the school halls?" Gaara said.

Naruto had just caught on when he began to blush furiously.

"No, no, no!! I-I wasn't… She just… It's not my fault!!"

"What's all this racket? I'm trying to read before those kids get back." The grey haired sensei said as he was leaning at the doorway of a classroom across the hall.

His eyes moved to Naruto and the fainted Hinata.

"This is interesting… Naruto what are you doing?" Kakashi said as he put his novel away.

"Nothing! You guys are such perverts!! …Hinata fainted and I was gonna resuscitate her, but I can't 'cause… well it's weird." Naruto screamed.

"She has fainted; you don't resuscitate someone in that state, Naruto." Kakashi said.

"Oh… well that's why I need help, I don't know these things." Naruto sweat-dropped.

"EHEM" the three almost jumped as they heard a loud cough.

Tsunade was standing before the three boys and one fainted girl. What she saw did not come across too well. There was one female, collapsed, on the floor with Naruto on top of her and Gaara and Kakashi just standing there watching. To top it all off they were at a school corridor.

"What kind of teachers are you?" she said.

"Tsunade, I can explain… this isn't what it looks like!" Naruto said the cliché line that never, ever convinced anyone. In fact if anything, it just heightens the doubt.

Kakashi was sniggering slightly at the amount of trouble Naruto was going to be in, and Gaara was just standing there.

However this satisfaction from the two was not about to last for very long.

"Do you have any idea how bad this looks? Naruto I never thought you'd be one for sexual harassment, especially to poor little Hinata! Not to mention her father owns half of Konoha, if he was to find out about this then it would be the end of this school and I'd probably be in debt ten times over. Therefore a punishment is at hand; detention. _All_ of you."

"B-but I wasn't! She just fainted! Hinata wake up and tell her!!" Naruto began shaking the girl, which didn't make his situation any better.

"Are you abusing her now? Do you want me to cut your pay too?" Tsunade said as she raised her eyebrow.

"Hey, what do you mean _all_ of you?" Kakashi said. "I'm not involved."

"And exactly why aren't you involved? You should be doing something, such as calling me perhaps or some other medic-nin?" Tsunade said. "Congratulation, you three are the first teacher's in history to get detention. I'll let Orochimaru know he has visitors this evening. And Gaara don't even think about skipping out on it." And with that she was gone, taking the fainted Hinata with her.

"Oh, shit." Kakashi said, as Naruto was on the floor with streams of tears.

"This is so unfair, I'm innocent!!" He shouted

"I'm not going." Gaara said, casually. It's did puzzle him slightly as to how Tsunade knew what he was thinking, but he chose to overlook that.

/////Later on that day.

As the three were headed towards the much dreaded detention room, Naruto shivering from the stories Kakashi had told him and the tales he'd heard from students he himself had sent to detention, Gaara, who was completely pale with dread, had come up with a plan.

"Listen, we'll walk up to the room, and because it's so close to the exit, we'll just escape." He said, the other two looked doubtful but they were willing to try anything.

Naruto was particularly concerned as to how bad this detention could be by the fact that it had scarred Gaara so much. He always thought nothing would scare that guy, but this somewhat did.

As they neared the room, they did a smooth shift of direction and began heading for the light of the reception exit door. Suddenly, like an eclipse, the light was completely covered by a certain head teacher.

"The detention room is that way." Tsunade pointed.

Gaara frowned.

"This is stupid. Get out of my way I'm going home." He said as he tried to just walk past Tsunade. However he was grabbed by the collar and lifted off the ground then thrown into the dreaded room. Naruto and Kakashi's eyes widened. Tsunade smiled, hinting a "you know what to do" as the two walked into the room hesitantly. As they stood at the very edge, the door behind them shut tightly causing them to jerk slightly. It was almost completely dark as they saw a dark snake-like figure approach them.

"Oh, what have we here? The handsome young men, much older than my usual candidates; this is sure to be enjoyable." Orochimaru grinned as he eyed the three of them. "How interesting; Look at all the colours."

The three shinobi/sensei's where huggled up against the door and were shivering. However at Orochimaru's last comment, they all looked puzzled.

"Are you stoned?" Naruto questioned.

This caused Orochimaru to laugh, a cold pervy laugh…

"So innocent Naruto-kun; I meant your hair colours, silly. Mmmmm yes, it almost makes me hungry; Strawberry, Banana, and, err, Vanilla." He said pointing at them in order and grinning.

"You're not right in the head." Gaara said, he was trying hard to hide the tremble in his voice. He was standing by the door a little further away from Naruto and Kakashi. He had figured that there was nothing to be scarred of; Orochimaru wouldn't dare touch Sabaku no Gaara.

Unfortunately for him, his non-talkative self would have come in handy in this situation, as that last comment attracted Orochimaru's attention. He neared the red head who was also trying hard to keep a straight, apathetic face.

"Hmm sand shinobi… I think I'll start with you, we never spoke much before. Maybe we can get to _know_ each other." He said this slowly as he was approaching Gaara, and he lifted his hand to touch his face.

Gaara's eyes widened.

"D-don't touch me i-if you know what's good for you." He said

"Oh?" Orochimaru grinned. "Maybe you can show me what's good for me" He said as he got closer.

"Poor Gaara…" Naruto whispered.

"At least it's keeping him busy, let's find a way to get out of here before he remembers we're here too and tries to strip us of our innocence." Kakashi whispered back.

Naruto had no idea what Kakashi was talking about but he nodded anyway.

Meanwhile, Gaara was backed into the wall with Orochimaru hovering above him. Suddenly his usual unbothered facial expression was back. Soon after a great wall of sand appeared between himself and the sannin.

"Sand? Oh Gaara-kun, this is no fun…" Orochimaru's face drooped as Gaara was currently protected in the sand shield that was surrounding him. He leaned against his sand wall and was trying to grasp his breath again.

"S-safe… I'm safe. Oh, my precious, beautiful sand!" He said as he tried to hug his sand.

"Oh well." Orochimaru smiled as he turned to face Kakashi and Naruto.

"ARRRGHHH Kakashi sensei!! What do we do now?!?!!? Granny-Tsunade!!! LET US OUT!!!! He's gonna steal out innocence!" Naruto began to freak out.

"Naruto-kun, please don't be scared. I just want to be your _friend_" Orochimaru said with a perverted smile on his face. However Naruto miss took it for a genuine one as he began to calm and stopped scratching at the door.

"Friend?" Naruto blinked and turned to face Orochimaru. "Is that it? Why are we screaming then…? No wait! You're Orochimaru; you kidnapped Sasuke and tried to destroy Konoha, WHY should I trust you?"

Orochimaru had an innocent look on his face.

"Oh that? That's all history Naruto-kun; I'd forgotten I'd done all that stuff until you reminded me just now. Besides, look how strong Sasuke-kun is now." He smiled.

Naruto had a blank look on his face.

"Really?"

Kakashi slapped his forehead.

"How about you Kakashi-kun? We can reenact some of those scenes in that little novel of yours."

Kakashi went blue.

"No thanks… stick with Naruto… he'll be your friend…" he said. "Naruto you'll be his friend right?"

Naruto smiled. "Yes! Friends are good. Kakashi-sensei, Orochimaru-san isn't as bad you said he'd be."

"Oh thank you Naruto-Kun, but you are so naïve and un-experienced, it will be rather enjoyable being _friends_ with you later. However, for now Kakashi-kun…"

At this point Kakashi had run for Gaara's sand shield and was banging on it really hard.

"Gaara!! Let me in! Let me in!!"

"Oh Kakashi, this doesn't have to be so difficult… I could easily use my jutsu to paralyze you but it's more fun if you're willing…" Orochimaru continued.

"Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto questioned. He was still pondering the idea about Orochimaru wanting to be his "friend".

_Oh shit… I'm going to get raped… _That was all that was in Kakashi's mind at the current moment as he continued to bang at the sand shield.

"Gaara-oof!" Kakashi had fallen flat faced inside the gourd right before Orochimaru was about to touch him in places he'd much rather not have touched.

Gaara was sitting on the floor cross legged as Kakashi scattered in.

"Thanks, I owe you one." Kakashi said as he sighed deeply...

Gaara merely nodded as he was holding a bunch of sand on his hands. "Don't thank me, that the sand…" He said, his cold quiet voice was back in control now it seemed.

"Ah yes, thank you sand." Kakashi replied as he looked out to see what was happening to Naruto. Poor kid, he was not going to enjoy this. It seemed that he was still falling for Orochimaru's "friends" talk.

"So, you really honestly just want to be friends? Is that really it? No dirty tricks?" Naruto asked.

Orochimaru nodded.

"Oh okay… Well maybe we can start from scratch then, since I never liked you before." Naruto grinned.

With that Orochimaru got slightly closer. "Well Naruto-kun, you're no Uchiha but you really are rather cute…"

"Hey don't compare me Sasuke, I'm better than him!" Naruto frowned.

"Oh? Can you show me?" Orochimaru suggested with a crazy look in his eye.

Naruto blinked. "How?" He asked, still not understanding what Orochimaru was getting at.

"How about a game..." He smirked.

////Inside the gourd.

Kakashi was leaning on its walls reading his perverted novel.

"How can you read that thing inside Orochimaru's layer?" Gaara, who was sitting cross-legged meditating, asked.

"I don't know, it calms my nerves… besides this is different."

Suddenly they both heard Naruto screaming which startled them a little.

"AHHH! WHAT KIND OF SICK GAME IS THIS?!" They heard.

"You don't like it Naruto-kun? I thought we were friends." They could just imagine the grin of satisfaction on Orochimaru's face.

"You don't want to be friends! You liar! I can't believe I trusted you!! H-hey… what are you doing? D-don't touch meee!!! Nooooo! I don't like this game!!"

Gaara and Kakashi were completely silent. They didn't know what was going on out there and they didn't particularly want to.

"Hey, does this sand have some kind of anti-sound system so that we can block out the screaming?" Kakashi said.

Gaara just looked at him. He sighed.

"Be grateful that we're not the ones in Naruto's position." He said.

Their time in detention was now over. As the door opened two indifferent men walked out, and one who could hardly stand straight. Naruto's facial expression had stayed the same for a while – eyes wide, mouth quivering, completely pale. He was in complete trauma. Behind them however walked a very satisfied Orochimaru.

"Come again! Kakashi and Gaara you shouldn't be so shy next time, Naruto-kun and I had lots of fun" He said.

"F-f-f-fu-fun?! ARGHHH!!" Naruto went running as far as he could whereas Orochimaru laughed an infamous evil dramatic laugh.

/////At the teacher's lounge.

"Y-you g-guys… Y-you just left me... Why?" Naruto wept. "I thought w-w-we were frie… I mean, you know…."

"Friends?" Gaara said.

"DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!!!" He screamed.

"Naruto, there is no such thing as friends in Orochimaru's detention room. It's every man for himself." Kakashi said.

"If you had asked, I would have let you in the gourd, if that helps." Gaara reassured.

"I DID ASK!!!"

"Oh?" Gaara raised his brow.

"YESSS ABOUT A MILLION TIMES!!"

"I was probably meditating at that time…"

"Well I'm sorry I didn't choose a more convenient time of being molested for you!! Oh man, I'm scarred for life..."

"Naruto relax will you." Kakashi said.

"Easy for you to say!"

At that time, the door begun to open. They all turned to see who had come; Naruto was backed in a corner praying that it wasn't Orochimaru. They then saw a bunch of the sensei's come in some talking amongst themselves. Sasuke approached Naruto, Gaara and Kakashi. He greeted them, and then noticed that Naruto didn't greet him back – instead he was backed up in the corner whispering to himself.

"What happened to you dope?" he asked in his usual monotone.

"Orochimaru happened." Kakashi explained.

Sasuke looked a little confused. "What?"

"It's a long story, but basically Naruto had a little encounter with the sound shinobi."

Suddenly Sasuke's face turned sympathetic.

"P-poor Naruto… you too?" He said.

Naruto nodded. "It was horrible!" he buried his face in his knees. "I feel so violated!"

Sasuke sat down next to Naruto. Gaara had now left but Kakashi watched curiously.

"There, there." Sasuke said as he patted Naruto's head. "Here, you can cry on my shoulder, I know what it feels like." Sasuke offered.

"I never thought I'd see this day…" Kakashi said.

Sasuke death glared him. "It's strictly because of the circumstances; I still think he's a dope."

"W-who's c-crying…" Naruto said.

"Well I just thought a hug might make you feel better." Sasuke smiled at his questionable best friend.

However, a smile was not returned. In fact it was looks of disgust and fear.

"Hug? HUG!?! I've had enough "hugs" to last me a lifetime. And from YOU?! You… you're contaminated with his germs!! S-stay away from me!!!" Naruto screamed.

Sasuke looked confused. "Okay sorry. You should have treasured this Naruto, don't think I'll ever be nice to you again." He still had some form of sympathy in his voice as he said this.

Sakura had overheard the conversation, actually everyone in the staff knew by now.

"Aw, poor Naruto." She said. "Are you okay?"

"What do you think?!" He said.

"There, there… want a hug?" she offered.

Naruto looked up from his knees. "That would be… nice." He said.

Sasuke's mouth opened slightly. "Oh sure, you accept a hug from _her _I thought you had enough to last you a life time."

Kakashi begun to laugh. He somehow saw amusement in all of this, possibly because he had got away untouched and with his 'innocence' questionably intact.

Eventually, since there was no inportant meating this time, all the teachers that had finished their daily work had headed home for a well deserved rest. After booking his appointment with the school nurse for a session on curing psychological damage, Naruto too had made his way home. That is to say, he was escorted home by Kakashi and Gaara for compensation since they left him in detention.

And that concluded yet another day at Konoha High.

* * *

Haah crappy ending. nyah.

Oh and can I please ask you to not ask to be taught by people like Orochimaru, Tsunade, gatekeepers, Jiraiya etc. Because they dont actually teach anything. Gomen, the names are just so that I dont use "that kid" and the such all the time in the lessons, but the main focus is still on the teachers! Thanks.

And thanks for the reviews, glad people enjoy this story as much as me and my friend do:D


	9. The Impossible challenge

I hope this chapter makes up for the long wait.

Please enjoy.

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Sasuke tapped his fingers on the handlebar impatiently as he waited for the old Konoha citizen to cross the narrow road. He sighed. He had realised that this high stress job combined with his personality, were certainly not good for his health. Still, this was the one thing he could really enjoy, he thought. He placed pressure on his left peddle and began to ride off on his bicycle. _It is only a matter of time before I have to see those idiots. _He thought as the wind brushed through his hair; this was Sasuke's time to himself. 

Having thought that, Sasuke saw a familiar red head join his street from the next corner. He too appeared to be on a bike.

"Gaara?" He said as he neared the red head, who turned his head back at the sound of his name.

"Sasuke." He replied.

They were now cycling at the same level.

"You cycle too? I thought you used your sand to _float_ to school." He said sarcastically whilst smirking.

Gaara narrowed his eyebrows. "I like the exercise" He replied. "Why do you cycle, Uchiha?"

Sasuke sighed. "It helps me escape the fan girl mobs; a car won't fit into tight spaces, and a bike is a lot faster than human legs..."

"Ah, touché." Gaara said; Sasuke had a valid reason indeed.

They continued to cycle, in silence for most of the way, until they had reached Konoha High School. They were approached by a puppet at the gateway. Sasuke and Gaara both showed it their ID cards before they were allowed in. It was a rather tense moment as the two Sensei's and gatekeepers eyed each other as they walked by.

"I can't stand those Akatsuki goons…" Sasuke said when they were away from ears reach of Sasori and Deidara.

"Wasn't your brother one of them?" Gaara said.

"He's the one I can't stand most."

Gaara raised a non-existent brow.

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The bell had rung which suggested that the first periods at Konoha High were about to begin. As usual, many of the students dreaded attending the lessons, except for the few daring ones that found their not-so-professional teachers challenging and exciting. This time round, a class was going to attend archery and combat skills class (After all, Konoha was a Ninja country) for the lower years, which was taught by the cute and pleasant Ten-ten sensei.

"Ohayo gozaimaz Sens- woah! Ten-Ten Sensei?" The student had just barely dodged a kunai that was headed for his head.

Ten-ten looked at him wide-eyed. "That was close… I wouldn't hear end of it from Tsunade-sama if that'd hit you, be more careful!" she said as she sweat dropped.

The students looked at the doorway to see what Ten-ten was attacking. What they saw didn't and didn't surprise them. It was a badly drawn picture of Sakura with different weapons on it. This did not surprise them because they knew that Ten-ten had something personal against Sakura, though they had yet to find out what; although rumour had it that it had something to do with a certain sensei that carried a special eye trait... It also surprised them because they never thought she was the kind of person to attack a picture of her despite what she had against her.

Ten-ten cleared her throat.

"Settle down class! I hope you're all awake and ready for today's lesson. I had something fun packet planned, but after that little incident I think I'll remind you of how a shinobi should always be careful and fully aware of their surroundings."

"No sensei! We get it, we do! Besides, we shouldn't do practical work when you're angry…"

Ten-ten grinned. "I'm not! Look, see, happy, happy. I've had my daily dosage of happy now let's go! To the gym!"

Meanwhile…

Kakashi was walking across the corridor of the quiet school carrying a bunch of books under his arm. He was also reading his perverted novel when suddenly he heard someone calling his same obnoxiously.

"Kakashiii my eternal rival of youth! Wait!" Gai shouted.

"Yo' Gai, what's up?" Kakashi said not raising his eyes from his novel.

"Kakashi, are you trying to get in touch with the children's youth using that trendy language?" Gai said as he approached Kakashi.

"No" Kakashi replied bluntly. "I'm making life easier for myself."

"Ooh smart Kakashi, you may have some brains but you obviously have no brawns." Gai grinned.

Kakashi looked at him suspiciously. "The amount of books you are carrying is puny! I challenge you Hatake Kakashi! We shall carry 70 fat math and science books each and whoever gets to the other side of the school first, shall be the glorious, youthful and brawny winner!"

"I should have seen this coming." Kakashi sighed.

"Waiit! Ask me what the looser will do." Gai said enthusiastically jumping up and down like an excited toddler.

"What? Carry the whole library around the whole school 120 times without stopping until their leg muscle feel like they'll rip out and yada, yada." The apathetic Kakashi simply guessed, whilst looking at his novel still.

Gai stopped for a second. When Kakashi looked back, he noticed that his mouth was wide open. He then closed it and with a glint in his eye approached Kakashi.

"Oooooohhh you're good Kakashi!! You quoted me well, only I would have put more oomph into it… So it's a deal! Let's go!!"

As Gai dashed at the speed of light toward the library, Kakashi walked languidly towards his destination.

"Ahh… Sensei, what was that?"

Ten-ten squinted her eyes in the distance to see what had run past. "All I see is smoke…" she said.

"W-well, I saw a green and black blur that almost attacked me…" Ryuen said rubbing her arm.

"Hmm… green? Lee-kun? No… Gai-sensei!" Ten-ten grinned. "Anyway, let's get on with the lesson!"

The students were grateful for those few moments she was distracted. But now it was time for them to dodge for their lives. Ten-ten took out a scroll with a series of kunais, shurikens, sword and other lethal material.

"Right, you know the rules. These items will come flying at you and you must dodge. As Konoha shinobi and Kunoichi this should be a piece of cake for you guys! Don't let me down!"

"S-sensei wait! Why can't we use dodge ball for practice?"

"Don't be silly, no ones scarred of dodge balls, it won't hurt if they hit you and so you won't learn. Ready?" Ten-ten was about to start throwing her equipment at the students when another distraction came along. The students felt as if it was their lucky day.

"'Morning Ten-ten."

"Ohayo Kakashi-san! Uhh… why are you…? Never mind." Ten-ten said as she saw Kakashi walk by holding 70 fat books on one hand and his reading his novel on the other… how he had managed that, was a mystery unknown…

"Uhh… see you all should be able to do stuff like that when I'm done with you!" Ten-ten turned her attention to her students and began firing kunais at them.

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Technology department.

Sai was currently having a staring competition with one of his students. His eyebrow twitched slightly.

"Feh, what do you know huh? You can't even draw a straight line." He said as he turned away. "Besides, I said the subject of whether fine art can be incorporated into graphics-design is no longer up for discussion, I made that clear at the beginning of the year."

"Sai-sensei, we already have an art class."

"Of which I should have been the sensei for. No wonder your drawing skills suck, it reflects the incompetence of your current sensei. That shy little girl doesn't know how to express her emotions in real life let alone through art."

There was silence for a moment. Sai turned to face his students; they obviously had something they were hesitating to say...

"Neither can you, sensei."

Sai frowned. It was true after all, but he didn't like to be defeated by people younger than him.

"Detention" he smirked.

"W-w-what? Why? What did I do?" the student panicked.

"You got on my nerve, that's what. Now go."

"S-sensei! I'm sure Tsunade-sama didn't make such rules…"

"Oh?" Sai smirked. "Well let me rephrase that so that it will be a foil for Tsunade-sama's rules; you didn't raise your hand to speak thus shouted out when not asked, you were rude, what you said was uncalled for… need I go on?"

As the student walked out of the classroom, terrified, Sai turned his attention to the other students.

"Today, we will be doing portraits of our favourite persons or things… this will help develop our ability to draw things accurately from memory THUS when doing _graphics_ such as _architecture_ we can draw things out we have in our minds precisely… Maybe some of you will become great enough to make them come to life, although it's highly doubtable, who knows." Sai emphasised the things that had to do with graphics design.

"Can we draw favourite senseis?"

"Hmm…" Sai pondered. "Fine. As long as it's a beautiful piece then it's fine." He said, drifting away from he subject of graphics, and more into art once more.

"Yay! I'm drawing Sakura-sensei!" a student smiled happily.

"What?" Sai raised his eyebrow. "You're going to draw ugly? Tell me, where does _ugly_ come into beautiful? Are you retarded or something."

"B-but sensei, Sakura-sensei is very pretty… I heard you were in the same team so I assumed you'd be attracted to her like Naruto-sensei is." The student said smiling happily still.

Sai blushed slightly. "What the hell gave you that gross idea?! Naruto is an idiot, and if you want to draw her you can, but don't expect very good results."

"But sensei…"

"She has pink hair, enough said. There are many better senseis' you can draw but if you want to fail that badly then be my guest." Sai said smirking.

"Oh well, I'm doing Sasuke-sensei… you can go wrong with him!"

"Tch, what he the hell have I just started…" Sai sighed to himself. "You don't need to be discussing anything." He said sternly to the students, which made them shut up at once and continue their art… I mean, _graphics_ work.

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1:00 PM

It was now officially lunch time at Konoha High. The children were able to escape from the daily weirdness of their senseis. However, that was not to say that the weirdness itself took a break. Of course, the teachers them selves needed to get their energy from somewhere for their high-level stress job. Naruto-kun for example, gained this energy from his natural habitat, the ramen stand at the school dinner (that was built in especially for him as a way for Tsunade to bribe him to work at the school.) Luckily for Naruto, this side of the dinner hall was completely empty. This being because not many of the other senseis were Ramen lunatics and the children got enough Ramen in lesson to last them a lifetime. So thus it was all for Naruto, and the school dinner-man Chouji who, on the occasion, would secretly sneak in some of the food for himself. (In other words, there was hardly any left for anyone else by lunchtime.)

"Ramen please, Chouji-kun!" Naruto said, holding his bowl in front of Chouji's face with a huge grin on his face.

"Jeez Naruto, leave some for me… I'll have nothing to eat later." Chouji said whilst pouring the ramen and chewing on his chocolate bar at the same time.

"Of course, obviously the whole dinner hall isn't enough for you…" Naruto mumbled under his breath. "But you make great ramen! I never thought you had it in you!" was what Chouji actually heard.

"Heh-heh, don't underestimate my taste in food Naruto! By the way, I heard what you mumbled… if you don't want me to spit in your ramen next time I suggest you mumble quieter." Naruto grinned sheepishly at Chouji's last comment.

He headed over to sit next to other members of staff. In a table, he saw Gaara, Shikamaru, Sasuke and Kiba.

"Hai guys!" Naruto said in a bubbly voice.

They all greeted the blonde sensei vaguely and continued their former conversation.

"So Gaara aren't you gonna get that cleaned?" Kiba asked pointing at Gaara's arm. It had a sticky red substance on it. "If Tsunade sees you she'll flip"

Gaara shook his head.

"You didn't strike me as the kind to like your victim's stains on you…" Sasuke said.

"My sand will take care of it." He replied.

"Jeez, you're lazier than Shikamaru." Kiba said, funnily enough Shikamaru was asleep as this was said.

"You really love blood don't you?" Naruto said, as he came back from his second round of ramen.

"Blood? Blood makes me queasy…" Gaara said slowly. "I don't remember things when I'm in contact with blood, but apparently it's not pretty."

"So what's that?" Naruto was confused now.

"You idiot." Sasuke said. "It's strawberry jam."

"Huh? Why is it on his arm…?"

"One of Gaara's admirer's tried to get close to him to give him home-made jam as a present and _hug_ him but, as his sand is over-protective and thought the girl wanted to attack him with it or something…"

"…accidents happened." Gaara finished Kiba's sentence.

"Wow, now I know _2_ things Gaara's scarred of! Blood and …Orochimaru!" Naruto shivered as he said the sannin's name.

"Everyone's scarred of Orochimaru." Gaara corrected. "Besides, he doesn't scare me; I can handle him in a battle… just not in a detention room."

"Naruto how many bowls of ramen have you had?" The conversation swiftly changed direction as Shikamaru woke up.

"Dunno…" Naruto said with his mouthful.

"In a matter of 5 minutes, you've had about 4 bowls…" Shikamaru said matter-of-factly.

"Naruto can suck up ramen faster than a vacuum. The vacuum would be jealous." Sasuke said.

"W-what's that, teme! Are you insulting me again?!" Naruto growled.

"No, you should be honoured being compared to a vacuum. At least they're useful for something."

"Oh… well that's fine." Naruto grinned.

"Naruto that was more of an insult that the first thing, you do know that right?" Shikamaru raised and eyebrow.

"Oh yeah… of course I know! I-I was going to deal with that eventually…"

"Naruto, do what you're good at and eat your ramen." Sasuke said spitefully once more.

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It was now time for the last lesson of the day. For some of the upper years, their sensei was Temari who taught self defence and archery for upper years only.

"As a shinobi village, we take this kind of lesson very seriously. Frankly, I don't see you doing so well in this lesson, people. For example, your quick thinking is poor." Temari was currently in the middle of demonstrating battle strategies to her students, at the same time Ino happened to walk past the field where the lesson was going on with a cheery smile on her face. "When an enemy is spotted…." Temari began.

"Kyaah! What the…?" Ino screamed as she dodged for her life when she noticed Temari's fan blow a gust of sharp wind towards her.

"Oops, I didn't see you there, Ino-sensei." Temari said sarcastically.

The students looked at their sensei as this was said.

"Urgh, my hair… Not so professional are you Tema-chan." Ino countered.

The students heads turned towards Ino.

"It can't be helped when a bug gets in the middle of a battle demonstration can it. Maybe you should walk with your eyes open; it's what most people with brains do." Temari, being herself, couldn't have apologised in a better way.

This turned the student's attention back to her.

"W-what?! How dare you insult me right after you attack me! This isn't going to be good for you Temari." Ino's eyes had fired up with rage.

And they turned to Ino.

"Gosh, why do drama students have to be such drama-queens all the time." Temari said.

And they faced back to Temari.

"I'm a sensei not a student! At least I have a femine figure, not a butch one!"

"Why you…"

"Uhh, sensei…?"

"WHAT?!" They both answered at once.

"Heh-heh… never mind."

"Gosh, Temari, don't you really don't educate your students do you." Ino attempted an insult.

"Heh, these are your drama students too, bimbo." Alas she failed miserably.

Suddenly, half way through their bickering, the two female senseis heard something like a window opening.

"Can't someone get some sleep around here? Jeez, how troublesome." Shikamaru said out of his classroom's window. It appeared that he had no last lesson to teach and so was taking a nap.

Ino and Temari both blushed. "Sorry Shikamaru-kun!" they said.

"Stupid bimbo." Temari mumbled.

"Butch lady." Ino mumbled.

And they off went their separate ways.

"What?" Temari glared at her students, who were looking at her in shock.

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That evening at the school fields...

"One hundred and one…. Wheeze…… oh man, this is my biggest challenge yet. Kakashi you sure do have a crazy stuntman side to you I was never aware of!" Gai wheezed as he was crawling across the floor with the whole library at his back.

"Eah?" Kakashi said.

"This… this idea of yours for the loser to carry the whole school library around the school 120 times… It's impossible!"

"It was your mind I read Gai. Anyway, I'm going home so you can stop if you want." And with that Kakashi poofed away leaving smoke behind.

Gai's giant eyebrow was twitching slightly.

"That damn Kakashi, trying to patronize me by saying it is okay to stop… It is never okay to stop! Now I have to do 150 just to show him I am better than that! Mwahahahahaha!!! The evening is still young! One hundred and two!"


	10. When World's Collide

Oh how extreme am I? XD

This chapter is abit weird. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 10

Naruto yawned as he entered the gates of Konoha High School. He looked at the clock inside the school's reception area with lazy eyes. 6:55am was what it read. Naruto still had a whole hour and five minutes left until his lesson actually began, however he hadn't been in much of a state to teach after a certain incident with, for Naruto's sake, he who must not be named…

However, he didn't understand why Tsunade had to book his appointment with school nurse for him so early. Tsunade was hoping to get some counselling for him to avoid any future personality changes, freaky behaviour or anything psychological detention had caused him. However, seeing as there was a lot of that going around the school the school nurse had been booked for a whole week, so today was Naruto's day.

"Oh man, what a week." It appeared that Naruto was not the only early person in the school. Kabuto had come out of the nurse's office stretching and yawning. He then noticed Naruto.

"Oh, hello Naruto-kun, you're here early." He smiled pleasantly.

"So are you." Naruto said. "What were you doing in the nurses office… although I suppose I spend an hour with _him_ and thought I was gonna die, let alone what it could have done to you…."

Kabuto chuckled a little.

"Oh Naruto-kun, do you seriously not know what my role in the school is?" He said. "Although I give you points for a vivid imagination."

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"I'm the school nurse." Kabuto raised his glasses with his finger and smiled pleasantly.

"Kabuto…. W-WHAT?! How is this appointment going to help me then?! Is Tsunade out of her mind!! I'm out of here." Naruto was about to head out.

"Naruto-kun please don't be intimidated. If you just relax, I can help you." He said smiling still.

Naruto had gone pale.

"That's similar to what Orochimaru said… Eeek You're just like him!"

"Naruto-kun..."

"Stop calling me that! We're not _friends_; I don't fall for the same thing twice!"

"Okay fine… Uzumaki-san, is that better?"

"No, too distant and formal… Call me Naruto-sama, I should get used to it for when I'm head of technology department." Naruto grinned.

"You've set your standards a bit low from the point of Hokage to head of Technology…" Kabuto chuckled.

"H-hey! I just realised you have to start from the bottom is all…"

"Step into my office please, Naruto-san. However, I'll outline what I'll do out here so you feel better." Kabuto smiled.

"Wow, you're so professional… unlike everyone else." Naruto said something smart for a change.

"Thank you, I try. We'll simply just talk about your experience, and I'll ask you a few questions about how you feel. Then we will find ways around it."

"Wow, that's such a simple yet smart plan… I bet it worked many times on the students?" Naruto, who had now calmed down, said.

Kabuto smiled sheepishly. "Not yet. But I'll break through Orochimaru-sama's psychological walls of terror eventually."

"Amazing, Kabuto-san…" Suddenly Naruto got a chill down his spine. "Orochimaru-sama?! You just slipped!"

Kabuto tilted his head slightly. "Huh?" He looked at Naruto with curiosity.

"He tried to charm me like that with whole talk about reformation! You and Tsunade obaa-san will only ever get my dead body in that office! Stay away from me!!" Naruto said as he run out as fast as he could.

Kabuto stood there laughing innocently to himself. "Why is he so dramatic so early in the morning…?"

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It was now around 9am in the morning and most of the senseis were in their separate offices or around the school preparing for their lessons. Sakura was in the science department, being the science teacher, and was humming to herself whilst preparing for the lesson. She waited there for a moment once she'd finished preparing. Soon enough it had gotten to quarter past 9.

How unusual for her students to be late, she thought. They usually looked forward to her lesson and walked in if not on time, then early, despite it being science. She had even heard them say that she was probably the most sane and nice teacher in the whole school, which probably explained why. Of course, nothing had yet happened for her nerves to explode. Most of the time she was away from Naruto (main trigger of those nerves) Ino and Lee, and ever since she had gotten over that crazy crush she had on Sasuke, she was fine with not seeing him either and the mention of his name didn't send her into a daze. Also dealing with his occasional coldness when she did see him was fine for her (which by the way, had decreased recently which left Sakura wondering why.) Sai, who also tended to annoy her an incredible amount, was literally in the other side of the school. She was pretty much isolated from anything that would trigger her share of insanity, which was obviously great for the students.

"_ATTENTION TEACHERS OF KONOHA HIGH!"_

"Waah! What was that?!" Sakura almost jumped out of her seat in shock at the sound of the notice.

"_Please head over to the staff room immediately, thank you."_

It had appeared to be Shizune's voice.

At the staffroom…

Tsunade was standing there with a French-looking older man, Shizune, Orochimaru and some students. To put it frankly, she looked pissed.

"What's the big idea! Where are all the students?" Kiba said.

"The ones that need to be here are here with me and on time, unlike the rest of you. You are teachers, TEACHERS, why is it that the students are here and you are not even though you are in school?" she scolded.

They were all extremely confused.

"Tsunade-sama, I beg your pardon but I believe that I speak for everyone when I say that, I don't understand what you are talking about." Itachi said in a tone so polite and calm it was intimidating.

"Hey Sasuke, is this the Itachi we all first met?" Naruto whispered to his colleague.

Sasuke nodded slightly.

"Why you…! I announced that the art competition is today and that there will be no normal lessons running." She tried to contain her anger.

The teachers were wearing blank faces.

"I sure don't remember that, how troublesome." Shikamaru said.

Tsunade had a terrible feeling. "You must have been sleeping." She reassured herself.

"I don't either." Itachi said.

"You must have been in a low IQ personality state when the announcement was made, that's understandable." She tried reassuring herself again.

"T-Tsunade-sama? Why would you say something like that…?" Itachi appeared to have teary eyes.

Sasuke's eyes widened greatly. "Ohhh no…. Nii-san I never heard it either, it's not your fault!" He said going over to his brother, trying desperately to hide him from everyone else.

"Is Itachi crying?" Neji pointed out.

"No! No he's not! Uchiha men don't cry, why would you think something like that!?" Sasuke tried to cover up this ordeal that would, in his mind, bring shame to his family and a lot of headaches for him.

"Oh otouto it makes me so happy that you called me nii-san again. Just like old times!" Itachi sniffled, clutching Sasuke in a breathtaking (literally) hug.

"Get…. off…psychopath…. Gaaah!" Sasuke was struggling to breathe.

"Heh-heh, what funny guys huh? They're humour is our pride and joy in this school! And look at how much they love each other, isn't it inspiring?" Tsunade said to the French looking man.

"They love each other? Hmm…"

"N-no I mean, they're brothers! Brotherly love." She laughed nervously.

Suddenly her laugh got louder. "U-uh surprise! I wanted to surprise you all… the art competition is taking place today. Wonderful, splendid! We all know… Now let's begin!" she grinned sheepishly and faced away from the teacher's and the French looking man. She had almost bumped into Orochimaru.

"Tsunade, that is a marvellous way to hide the fact that you're getting old thus failing to remember things and are actually doing what you've accused everyone else of doing; slacking. I think you fooled everyone well." He said so that only she could hear.

Tsunade gritted her teeth out of anger, although she wouldn't dare say anything under the circumstances… even she, however, couldn't deny how scary Orochimaru's patronising comment and voice was.

"Okay, this is Hatsami-san. He's the local governor as well as today's main judge for the winner of the competition." Tsunade's glare to her employees suggested something along the lines of _'make a good impression or die…'_

"Now you know the score, get a canvas and have fun! Itachi, Gaara, remember my words…" she reminded.

"Jeez this is so troublesome." Shikamaru said.

"Yeah I'm hungry." Chouji added.

"I have a feeling these drawings are going to be interesting." Kabuto said.

"Are you not taking part?" Shikamaru asked.

"Nope, I don't particularly need to so Tsunade let me off. Besides, I can't draw…"

In the meantime, Naruto was smiling happily. "Ohh I have the perfect drawing! It's bound to wiiinnn!" He said.

"Hah!" He heard someone say which caused him to turn around. "If you think _you _out of all people will win, keep dreaming Naruto."

"Whatever Sai! At least I'm not all talk and no action."

"What?" Sai said rather calmly.

"I haven't once seen any of your art, you must suck so much you try to hide it, or you don't have any at all!"

Sai was glaring at Naruto. "Why you blind idiot. How many time have I fought by your side and done sketches in seconds, hmm?" He countered.

"I never got to see them." Naruto said. "You did say it was in seconds…"

"Tch!"

"If you don't counter him…" Sasuke said from behind Sai. "You'll be in trouble."

Sasuke had said that so dully that Sai failed to see the insult in it as yet. "Why is that?" he said as he turned to face him.

"To lose to Naruto in a battle is one thing… but in a word fight, in which Naruto has little to no brain capacity, that's quite shameful." Sasuke said, folding his arms.

"Teme!" Sai and Naruto said at once since it was directed at the both of them. They looked at each other for a second, and after deciding that they still hated each other even though they both shared hate for Sasuke right now, they turned away.

"Mr. Clan of cry-babies, I think you have bigger worries than insulting me." Sai said.

"No kidding." Naruto added whilst chuckling.

"No…" He turned around.

"Otouto, I'm not so sure how to set things up and Tsunade-sama keeps shouting at me… I'm sorry for embarrassing you but I'm just so saddened by all the cruelty that comes from older people… have I done something wrong?" Itachi began to sniffle much to Sasuke's horror.

"Itachi… I'll kill you one of these days." He mumbled.

"What's that, otouto?" He sniffled some more.

"Come on nii-san, I'll help you, okay? It'll be okay, I promise… Just stop crying please or…" Sasuke sighed deeply.

"Or what?" Itachi said looking at Sasuke with big puppy dog eyes.

Sai and Naruto were trying hard to hide their chuckle, they were anticipating to hear what Sasuke was about to say… Mainly 'because they could tell it was crushing his pride.

"Or you'll upset your little brother, and then I'll probably c-c-…."

"Awwuh poor Sasuke-kun, are you gonna cry too. There, there." Naruto patted his back whereas Sai was trying hard to keep a straight face.

"So Sasuke, is this the big bad scary man you so desperately wanted to get revenge on…? He looks like a little lost puppy."

They then burst out laughing

"Dopes, you want to die. Hmm." Suddenly Sasuke began to smirk; it was a malicious and plotting smirk indeed. "You guys, you've never had any older siblings have you?" He said.

"N-no…why?" They replied, in between laughter.

"Then, you really don't know what advantage they hold for younger siblings, especially when they're being bullied… and especially when the older sibling is Itachi in a certain mood." He said, an evil laugh slowly starting.

"Y-you wouldn't… whatever it is you're gonna do." Naruto said.

"You idiot." Sai said, directed at Naruto.

"You want to know what's so scary about Itachi? It's how easily he can change from one feeling to another, and satisfy that emotion without hesitation despite what he may have felt before. It's quite a deceiving trait he has... Sometimes, all he needs is a little trigger."

They both had terror in their wide eyes as Sasuke stood there with a malicious laugh. They were shivering tensely at what may have awaited them when suddenly…

A tear dropped….

"NII-SAN!!! WAAAAH!!" He went to Itachi who was happily sitting in the couch waiting for his younger brother. He immediately run up to Sasuke, Naruto and Sai.

"What happed?! S-Sasuke…"

"I-I… They just…" Sasuke stuttered and sobbed as part of his act.

Itachi's eyes had suddenly gone red.

"W-wait Itachi, you don't even know what happened… isn't it strange that Sasuke is crying, he'd never do that! Think about it, please!" Naruto begged.

"I don't need to know, Naruto-kun." Itachi said in such a cold and sadistic manner that Naruto and Sai's bones froze stiff. "If it made my sensitive and caring brother cry, it's bound to be bad… and you two look like the culprits."

"They are." Sasuke added.

"Caring and sensitive? Is this the same Sasuke…??" Naruto pondered.

"Y-you wimp! Great Uchiha my butt!" Sai said.

"You'll die first, Sai-kun." Itachi gave Sai the honour.

At this moment, Sai and Naruto had been taken into Itachi's jutsu, whereas Sasuke, who was behind his brother, wiped his crocodile tears and left them.

"Fools. At least that skitzo is good at making up for his mistakes." Sasuke thought to himself.

"Sasuke! What is going on over there?" Tsunade demanded.

"Naruto, Sai and Itachi are playing a game to determine who will get the expensive canvas. I suggest you check up on them after about, 10 minutes."

"Oh, why?" Tsunade raised her eyebrow suspiciously.

"They might get carried away." He said as he walked off to his business.

"Ten minutes… around 10 days in mangekyou time…. Kakashi couldn't last 7 hours..." A smug look rose in his face as he thought this. "I'm simply wondering how much energy that'll drain from Itachi; he'll be out of my life for at least a week." Indeed, this worked out perfectly for Sasuke. Or so he hoped.

"Naruto-kun!! May I ask you a question please?" Lee had run up to Naruto, who was to say the least rather busy.

"Naruto? Uhh guys what are you doing?" Lee's eyes widened. "C-can it be? ………. The starring game?! Gai-sensei once played that with Kakashi-sensei, oooh can I join in please, please?!" Lee said enthusiastically, he then stupidly looked into Itachi's mangekyou and was taken in the jutsu too.

//inside Itachi's mind

"Woaaaah. What _is_ his place? It is so confused I get a headache just starring at it." Lee said as he looked around at the new world he was sucked into.

"N-nooo I want out, I had nothing to do with your stupid brother! Oof-" Sai said as a random boulder grew out of no where causing him to smash into it.

"So, Sai…" Lee heard a booming voice say out of nowhere, it was obviously Itachi's. "You like to tell people the opposite of what you think. How about…Let's see… I'll have you become the opposite of what you want to be, heh, heh, heh."

"Go ahead and try it!" Sai said whilst rubbing his bleeding nose. "You won't break me, even with your stupid jutsu." However, the second time Sai spoke, it was not like his voice at all. It was much more feminine… and yet rather harsh. He noticed something else too, his hair had grown. "W-what the…"

"Oh, look perfect timing too. Seems we have a pest enter our little game." Itachi's booming voice said.

"Sakura-chan!! I didn't know you were playing the game too!" Lee shouted at a confused Sakura, or Sai even…

"Sakura? What are you talking about…? Oh my God." Sai realised what had happened. "I'm UGLY!!!" He squealed.

"Get me out of this horrendous body! You can't do this to me it's beyond anything that's cruel and disgusting!" He shouted.

"That's funny, most men would only dream of being in a girl's body…" Itachi's booming voice said.

"Ugly does not count as a girl… Anyway I'm not a pervert!!!"

"I think you should have bigger worries."

The Sai entrapped in Sakura's body turned around to see what was behind him, and to his horror he saw a love-struck Lee walking towards him.

"Sakura-chan, you look more beautiful than ever." He said. "How fortunate that we are in this isolated place alone. I can express my love without any distractions, and you can't run away from me either." He said as he approached Sai.

Sai's female face turned blue. "No! I'm not Sakura, you touch me and you're dead meat!"

"Oh Sakura-chan that is so something you would say…"

"This is not real… this is not real… this is NOT real…"

"It's the next best thing to real." Itachi's booming voice said.

In the meantime….

"What… the… hell? Is this Itachi's mind?" Naruto was looking out into a huge, never ending field. It seemed to have divided into two. He looked over at his right and noticed a calm, beautiful area with lots of happy things like butterflies and rabbits… on the other; however, it was a desert like cemetery where everything looked dead, dark and gloomy. There was a fine line between these two places.

"I think I'll go stay over there…." Naruto said as he headed towards his right.

Suddenly Itachi appeared before him. "Hello Naruto-kun. How do you like my world so far?"

"Yikes! Don't hurt me! I feel so fragile and unprotected in this placee!!"

"Naturally; it is a place where you have no control of anything whatsoever. Not even your own limbs." He said in a monotone.

"Heh, whatever you do to me it's not like it's never happened before." Naruto said rather arrogantly. "I can take it!"

"That's very similar to what Sai-kun said." Itachi looked over his shoulder.

"GYARRRGHH I WANT TO GET OUT OF HEEERRE!!!"

Naruto's eyes widened as he heard the shrieking voice of Sai. "What did you do to him!"

"You'll have plenty of time to talk about that later. Are you hungry Naruto-kun?" He asked.

"Now that you mention it… You're not gonna feed me worms or something, are you?" Naruto said, gripping his stomach. He hadn't noticed, but it appeared that they were on the darker side of Itachi's mind right now. He also hadn't noticed a lovely little dinner table with a certain person sitting on it…

"Unfortunately, I'm not that kind." Itachi said.

Naruto turned his attention to where Itachi's eyes had moved to; the dinner table. Naruto began to shiver and hyperventilate…

"Hello Naruto-kun, care to join me for some ramen?" Orochimaru said, picking up some chopsticks and about to feast on the most delicious and beautifully stunning ramen Naruto had ever seen.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

"Heh, heh, heh…." Itachi laughed.

Exit Itachi's mind//

Sai and Naruto collapsed to the floor looking like they were about to die, whereas Lee looked quite satisfied and was blushing madly. Itachi however, had a monotone pissed off look like he wanted to kill someone.

"I-I'll… N-n-never look at ramen in the same way… a-again!"

"You idiot Naruto!! If we had stuck together we could have taken him!! … Why did you leave me to endure such morbidity...?" Sai managed to say.

"B-but… I hoped ramen would never meet the same fate as I did!" Naruto wept. "We can't let him win the competition; if any of them win I'll never forgive myself!!"

"You're right!" Sai leaped up at once. "Let's win this for our dignity! Lee…"

Sai said, turning to the bushy browed sensei.

Lee had a dazed look on him so Sai's fist meeting his face was a bigger surprise than it should have been. "Oww... what did I do?"

"That's for mistreating a woman, even if she is ugly…." He shivered.

Naruto gained a sense of inspiration from that. "Yeah! Orochim-" But as the snake-like sannin turned his attention towards him, he realised he was not that brave. "Ye- never mind… Heh…"

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Sasuke was walking happily (well, as happy as Sasuke can get…) carrying a canvas over his head. He was headed for his destination when suddenly he tripped up over something and fell flat on his face. Even worse, however, he broke the canvas. He looked up to see his brother standing before him. It appeared that Itachi had stuck his foot out without Sasuke noticing so he had tripped on it.

"Foolish little brother." He said. "If you're still getting me to fight your emotional battles, then you have learnt nothing and are not worthy of an Uchiha. Once more, embarrassing me by crying like a foolish little baby; don't think this will be left unnoticed."

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows.

"Whatever, Itachi. Go play evil nii-san with someone else, I'm in too good of a mood for the likes of you." Sasuke said as he got up.

"Now you will endure the cruelty that comes from older people, foolish little brother." Itachi said as he left.

Sasuke turned around to see a furious Tsunade standing behind him with her hands at her hips. Sasuke sighed.

"Do you know how much that cost?" she said pointing at the broken canvas.

"I give up. Just punish me already." Sasuke said as he picked up the canvas mumbling.

* * *

Poor Sasuke, he should have known things wouldn't go as he planned haha. Who's watched shippuuden? (on a random note) Sasori-sama rules! I finally got to see his true face yattaa!!! (must include him mooore)

That reminds me, let me know what characters you want to see more of, if there's anyone specific since I do alot about some characters and not so much about others. I love them all equally though! (Maybe Kakashi and Sasori a little more... lool) Thanks. reviews&crits muchos appreciated.


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